Many Questions Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

465 Results for Many Questions

View 71 - 80 results for many questions comic strips. Discover the best "Many Questions" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #acute, #acute design flaw, #crucial, #feminist questions word, #other monitor, #poor choice, #sexist puns, #word means, #words, #apology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The image ins fuzzy because the monitor has an acute design flaw. Tina: Acute? Thats an unusual choice of words. Would you have said "acute" to a mle co worker? I think not. Dilbert: It means crucial, thats all. Tina: I know what the word means! Do you think UI odnt see right through your sexist puns? Dilbert: No! I swear . it was just a poor choice of words!! Tina: Well...okay. I accept your apology this time. So whats wrong with the other monitor? dilbert: which?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ask dilbert, #attractive, #bad hair, #engineers can't lie, #hairdo, #insults woman, #make ship date, #technical questions, #truth, #bugs are features

View Transcript

Transcript

"I brought Dilbert, in case you have any technical questions about our product." "Heh-heh...engineers don't know how to lie. The truth will be mine." "Uh-oh." "Ted said your product is bug-free. Is that true Dilbert?" "Well, yes, that's true." "I mean, basically true. Technicaly true. Sort of." "No-o-o!! It's a lie! All the bugs were reclassified as security features just to make the ship date!!" "And we both think you could be attractive if you'd just do SOMETHING with your hair." "Why did I bring you along?" "The evidence suggests that you're stupid."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ethics questions, #co worker, #pentium pc, #run over foot, #car accident, #parking lot, #Dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "I have a question for the Ethics office." "If my co-worker has a 'pentium' pc and I have a 386, is it okay to run over his foot in the parking lot?" "It seemed like a long-shot when I asked."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time to go, #working all night, #extra work, #not better off, #fixed mistakes, #duct tape, #chair, #uncanny, #duck tape cureall

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a co-worker, "It's seven o'clock, Ed. Time to call it a night." Ed replies, "I'm planning to work all night." Ed explains, "I'm not very bright so I work long hours to compensate." Dilbert says, "Ed, we're not better off when you do extra work." Ed says, "I'm not quite following your logic." Alice and Wally stand behind Dilbert. Dilbert says, "We all worked late undoing what you did yesterday." Dilbert continues, "We voted to duct-tape you to your chair." As they tape Ed to his chair, Alice says, "It's uncanny how many problems you can solve with duct tape." Wally says, "Sometimes I use it instead of underwear."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #voicemail, #Wally, #simple incompetence, #preview, #sinister, #defensive strategy, #incomplete answers, #over worked, #irrational, #asking questions, #recount war stories, #thwart me, #team up

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands next to Wally's desk and says, "Wally, you never really answered the question I left on your voicemail." Dilbert asks, "Is this a case of simple incompetence or a preview of something far more sinster?" Wally replies, "It's the sinister one." Wally explains, "I've adopted a defensive strategy. I'm withholding information to make myself appear more valuable." Wally continues, "Now I only return phone calls late at night and leave incomplete answers." Wally continues, "In person, I act overworked and irrational so people stop asking questions." Wally continues, "If cornered, I sigh deeply and recount old war stories that don't relate to the question." Wally concludes, "No co-worker can thwart me!" Dilbert asks, "What if they team up?" Behind Wally's back, Alice reaches over the wall and grabs Wally's CPU. She thinks, "Got it!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #united charity, #kick off, #headless man, #inspirational speaker, #dignity, #quations, #head count report

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally hands a piece of paper to Dilbert and says, "Be at the 'United Charity' kickoff tomorrow." While Dilbert reads the paper Wally says, "I hired a headless man to be our inspirational speaker." Wally, Sally and the Boss are seated and a headless man stands in front of them with a microphone, making a speech. The headless man says, ". . . and that's how 'United Charity' game me back my dignity. Any questions?" The Boss raises his hand and asks, "How do you show up on a headcount report?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #team leader, #decide raises approve expenses, #fire people, #leader, #manager

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit around a conference table. Dilbert says, "As you know, I've been promoted to team leader." Alice asks, "Will you decide raises? Do you approve expenses? Do you fire people?" Dilbert answers "No" to all three questions. Dilbert says, "I'm a leader. Not a manager."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #shipped million keyborads, #free upgardes, #royal family

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert and a male employee sit around a conference table. The Boss says, "Okay, so we shipped a million keyboards that don't have the letter 'Q.' What do we do?" The man says, "We could offer free upgrades to users who can prove they need a 'Q.'" The Boss asks, "How many users need a 'Q?'" The man answers, "Well . . . there's the royal family . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pursue goal, #world domination, #talk radio host, #unique conservative view, #deserve mockery, #flawed view, #intelligent questions

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert who is sitting at his desk, "I think the best way to pursue my goal of world domination is to become a talk radio host." Dogbert continues, "I'll promote my unique conservative viewpoint that people are idiots who deserve to be mocked." Dilbert asks, "Won't people show your viewpoint to be flawed by virtue of their intelligent questions?" Dogbert asks, "Like that one?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sex after marriage, #depraved practice, #liberals, #headaches, #fatigue, #become consultants, #extinction of mankind, #right winger

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits in a radio DJ booth wearing headphones and speaking into a microphone. He says, "Today we're talking about sex after marriage. Many liberals support this depraved practice but I do not." Dogbert continues, "It can lead to headaches, fatigue and unwanted family members who become consultants." A caller asks, "Wouldn't your philosophy lead to the extinction of mankind?" Dogbert replies, "Cry me a river, Liberal."