Mining Data Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

170 Results for Mining Data

View 71 - 80 results for mining data comic strips. Discover the best "Mining Data" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Elbonian hackers are trying to steal our source code. "Send our goons to beat them up." "I was thinking more along the lines of improving our data security." "Improve it or else I'll have our goons beat you up." "This is surprisingly motivational." "Youse call dat a firewall?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Get the user data from Ed." "That's impossible." "Ed is an unreachable. He doesn't answer his phone or return messages. He's never in his cubicle and he doesn't read e-mail." "Does he use the restroom?" "No, we think he modified his briefcase."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I need some data from an unreachable guy named Ed. What should I do? "Just make up a bunch of data like everyone else does." "Everyone else does that?" "Are you doubting my data?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Does marketing have any data on customer preferences? Errr grunt! "This is disturbing on so many levels."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults "You need a dashboard application to track your key metrics." "That way you'll have more data to ignore when you make your decisions based on company politics." "Will the data be accurate?" "Okay, let's pretend that matters."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I can monitor the company's key metrics from my executive dashboard. "Uh-oh. I need to do a better job of falsifying my data." "Allow me to set the stage for your next assignment by reminding you that stockholders have never done anything for you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2007's comic on:


Tags #help alice, #argument, #team work, #control killing

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My accomplishment this week was helping Alice finish her project in a timely manner." Alice: "You didn't do anything to help me." Wally: "Sure I did." "Remember when I came to your cubicle to ask for some data I need for my project?" "You said you were too busy, and shooed me away." Alice: "If I had insisted on doing my job, you would have had less time to do yours." Wally: "It's called teamwork." "Are we still big on that?" Alice: "Must control...First...Of...Death."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2007's comic on:


Tags #credible scientist, #products harm enbviornment, #cats doubt on data, #eat wrong food, #hope you die

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Consults Dogbert: "Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment." "I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data." "Then eat the wrong kinds of foods and hope you die before the earth does. The Boss: "You're making me hungry!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2008's comic on:


Tags #crs database, #sibs data base, #wrong data

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Use the CRS database to size the market." Dilbert says, "That data is wrong." The Boss says, "Then use the sibs database." Dilbert says, "That data is also wrong." The Boss says, "Can you average them?" Dilbert says, "Sure. I can multiply them too."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2008's comic on:


Tags #company news letter, #compile beta test, #in memorium, #newsletter

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Wally, are you busy? Wally: Yes, I'm reading the 'In Memoriam' section of our company newsletter." The Boss: When you're done, can you compile the beta test results?" Wally: Sure. Just as soon as I get the data from... Larry."