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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #men and women, #armed, #stunned, #bunny, #romantic, #relationships

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A woman says to another woman, "I don't know what we can do to meet more men." Dilbert walks up to the women and says, "Hi, my name is Dilbert." The woman says, "Get lost . . . I'm armed." As Dilbert walks away looking shocked, the woman says, "And the men we do meet all have that same stunned bunny look."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #television, #show, #healing, #dollars, #send, #money, #trick, #hair

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Dilbert asks Dogbert, "What did you do to your hair?" Dogbert's hair is styled in a pompadour. Dogbert replies, "It's for my new television show, 'Healing for Dollars.' People send more money if you have this kind of hair." A man and a woman sit on a couch watching Dogbert's tv show. The woman says, "It might be a trick." The man replies, "That's what I thought until I saw his hair." Dogbert says, "Checks or money order."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #engineering, #jogging, #bed, #knot, #alternatives, #innovation, #wisdom, #invent, #rebellious, #olympics, #boy scouts

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Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I'm going to start jogging again." Dilbert wears a sweatshirt and sweatpants. He leans down to tie his sneakers and thinks, "Why does everybody tie their laces in the same type of knot?" Dilbert thinks, "From an engineering perspective, there are planety of good alternatives to the standard knot." Dilbert thinks, "This is how innovation begins; one man who refuses to accept the conventional wisdom." Dilbert says, "Ha ha! I'll invent my own knot! A rebellious, audacious knot!" Dilbert pulls the shoelaces and shouts, "Like this and this and this! Ha ha ha!!" Dogbert enters the bedroom and sees Dilbert lying on the floor with his laces wrapped around his body. Dogbert says, "Many people wonder why there haven't been more engineers in the Olympics." Dilbert says, "Call the Boy Scouts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #company, #survey, #attitudes, #anonymous, #retribution, #dog eared, #phone, #Number, #confidential, #green, #pen, #marker, #eskimo, #objectives

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters and says, "Dilbert, do you have a minute?" The Boss continues, "The company is doing an survey of employee attitudes about their bosses." The Boss continues, "It's totally anonymous, so you don't have to fear any retribution." The Boss opens an envelope and says, "Oops! It looks like your questionnaire is a bit dog-eared." The Boss continues, "I'll put my phone number on the confidential envelope in case you need me." The Boss hands Dilbert a pen and says, "You can use this green marker pen." The Boss adds, "Oh, and I took the liberty of checking off your ethnic background as Eskimo. It's just a statistical thing." Dilbert reads, "1. Does your boss clearly communicate your objectives?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #date, #millions, #stock, #wallet, #thick, #glasses, #late

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Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Gee, Mary, you weren't willing to date me BEFORE I made millions in the stock market." Dilbert continues, "I'm afraid you see me as just a big, talking wallet." Mary replies, "You're much more than that." Mary says, "For example, you also wear thick glasses." Dilbert says angrily, "Too little, too late."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 1992's comic on:


Tags #exercise, #happiness, #Dogbert, #bob, #newsletter, #clueless, #professional, #wrestling, #home, #device, #looks, #brains, #healthy, #read

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Dogbert hands Bob the Dinosaur a publication and says, "Bob, here's a copy of my new newsletter for clueless people." Bob reads, "Dogbert's Clues for the Clueless: 1. Professional wrestling is all faked. 2. Nobody ever lost weight on a home exercise device." Bob looks upset as he continues to read, "3. Looks are more important to happiness than brains. 4. If people don't comment on you new hairdo, they hate it." Dogbert says, "It's not healthy to read them all at once, Bob."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #marriage counselor, #plastic surgery, #personalities, #bad, #pretend, #other, #communicate, #begging, #trouble

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Dogbert sits at a desk in front of a sign that says, "Marriage Counselor." A man and a woman sit across from him. Dogbert continues, "I recommend massive plastic surgery for both of you . . . And your personalities are bad, too; pretend to be other people." The man or the woman asks, "Should we try to communicate more?" Dogbert replies, "No, that's just begging for trouble."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #rivers, #trees, #management, #variety, #dangerous, #tasks, #woods, #survival, #depend, #creativity, #ability, #team-building, #exercise, #headcount, #reduction

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The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "I'm sending all of you to the 'Rivers and Trees' management course." The Boss continues, "There you'll be asked to perform a variety of dangerous tasks in the woods. Your survival will depend on your creativity and ability to work together." Dilbert says, "Oh, so it's a team-building exercise." The Boss replies, "I think of it more as a headcount reduction thing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #Women, #write, #letters, #guys, #prison, #commit, #crime, #long, #improve, #social life, #personals, #ad, #resort

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Dilbert sits on the floor and leans against the couch and Dogbert sits on the couch. Dilbert asks, "Why do women write letters to guys who are in prison?" Dilbert continues, "Maybe if I commit a crime I can go to prison just long enough to improve my social life." Dogbert asks, "Why not do a personals ad instead?" Dilbert replies, "That's more of a last resort."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #collecting, #money, #mary, #birthday, #gift, #levels, #engineers

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A woman tells Dilbert and Wally, "I'm collecting money for Mary's birthday gift." Dilbert asks, "How much do you want?" She replies, "Oh, it's totally up to you." The woman continues, "However, the usual accepted levels are, in effect . . ." She continues, "Ten dollars from her boss and anybody else who thinks it would improve his odds of becoming romantically involved with her." The woman continues, "Five dollars from male co-workers who feel their manhood would be threatened by a smaller gift . . ." She continues, "One dollar if you're a secretary or if nobody is watching . . ." The woman concludes, "Or you can just ruffle the money already in the envelope and act like you gave five." Dilbert says, "Let's say you fall into more than one of those categories . . ." Wally ruffles the money in the envelope. The woman thinks, "Engineers."