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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #celebrates, #victory, #court, #six, #prison cell, #Dogbert, #freedom, #individuality, #prison system, #cubical

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The caption says, "Dilbert celebrates his victory in court." Dilbert picks Dogbert up and yells, "Yes!!" Dogbert says, "Put me down." Dilbert spreads his arms and yells, "Ha ha! I'm free! No more six-by-six prison cell!" Dilbert sits in his cubicle at work thinking, "Aah . . . It feels so good to have my freedom and individuality back."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #evil, #good, #Dogs, #animal behavior, #cats, #stupid, #people, #logic, #predicts, #theory, #existential crisis

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Dogbert and Dilbert walk through the park. Dilbert asks, "Do you think people are basically good or evil?" Dogbert replies, "Well, I know dogs are basically good." Dogbert continues, "And dogs are better than people." Dogbert continues, "But people are better than cats." They sit down under a tree. Dogbert continues, "And cats are evil . . ." Dogbert continues, "Therefore, all people are stupid." Dilbert says, "I don't follow that logic." Dogbert says, "Yes, my theory predicts you would say that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #twitch, #feet, #sleep, #dreaming, #chasing, #cars, #saint, #schedule, #lackey, #pushing, #whiney, #ugly, #people, #catholic, #church

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Dilbert watches Dogbert sleeping on the hassock. He thinks, "Why do dogs twitch their feet when they sleep?" Dilbert thinks, "It's so cute. They must be dreaming about chasing cars." In Dogbert's dream, he stands on a throne and says, "Ha ha! I am Saint Dogbert! Line up to kiss my feet, you knaves!" Saint Dogbert asks Dilbert, "What's on my schedule today, lackey?" Dilbert looks at the schedule and says, "You'll be pushing whiney, ugly people into mud at nine." Dilbert continues, "Then, you'll tease cats about their grooming methods until ten." Dogbert says, "Good, good." Dilbert says, "Then you'll raise taxes, go to lunch, and take the rest of the day off." Dogbert wakes up and thinks, "Reality: what a gyp."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #ratbert, #perfect, #turtleneck, #nervous, #Dogbert, #face

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Ratbert, who is wearing a sweater, asks Dogbert, "What do you think of my Chihuahua disguise?!" Dogbert replies, "It's a good start, Ratbert, but it takes more than a turtleneck to look like a Chihuahua." Ratbert opens his eyes wide and says, "How about if I make this face and act nervous?" Dogbert replies, "Perfect."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #chihuahua, #ratbert, #clapping, #hand, #sprained, #brain, #hand clapping, #animal behavior

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Dogbert says, "Your Chihuahua disguise is good, Ratbert, but you must also learn to THINK like a Chihuahua." Dogbert continues, "To think like a Chihuahua, imagine the sound of one hand clapping." Ratbert yells, "Ouch! I sprained my brain! Yip yip yip yip yip!!!" Dogbert says, "Good, good . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 1991's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #journal, #chiuahua, #lifestyle, #movie, #senseless, #brutality, #slapped, #strangely, #satisfying

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Ratbert sits on a rock writing in his journal. Ratbert writes, "Day one: I have disguised myself as a Chihuahua so I can experience their lifestyle and make a movie." Ratbert writes, "I have already seen the senseless prejudice and brutality against an innocent Chihuahua." Ratbert writes, "This morning I slapped myself with a rolled up newspaper for no apparent reason. It was strangely satisfying."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 1991's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #chihuahuas, #reason, #lesson, #evil, #Dogbert

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Dogbert sees Ratbert lying on the sidewalk. Dogbert says, "Ratbert! What happened to you?" Ratbert sits up and replies, "My Chihuahua disguise worked. I've been taunted and chased all day by bigots who hate Chihuahuas for no reason." Ratbert says, "There's an important lesson in this." Dogbert asks, "What? Chihuahuas are evil?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #comedy, #competition, #pairs, #chicken, #room, #stand-up

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Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a table. Dogbert asks, "What makes you think you can win the stand-up comedy competition?" Dilbert replies, "It's just a matter of writing good jokes." Dilbert says, "Here's one - - 'Why do women go to the restroom in pairs?'" Dogbert asks, "Why?" Dilbert says, "Because they're stapled to the chicken! Hee-hee!" Dogbert says, "It's been nice knowing you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #comedy, #competition, #first, #joke, #old people, #dragged, #stage, #third place

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Dogbert asks Dilbert, "How did you do in the stand-up comedy competition?" Dilbert's clothes are tattered and he has bruises on his face. Dilbert replies, "I was halfway through my first joke -- about old people, when an elderly woman dragged me off stage and slapped the bejeezus out of me." Dilbert holds up a trophy and says, ". . . It was good enough for third place."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #friend, #service, #questions, #accidentally, #borrowed, #tool, #lethal, #trap, #qualified, #sea monkeys

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The sign over Dogbert's desk reads, "Dogbert's Find-A-Friend Service." A man says, "I'd like to find a friend." Dogbert says, "Have a seat." Dogbert says, "I need to ask a few questions, so I don't accidentally match you with somebody who's too good for you." Dogbert says, "One: When a friend doesn't return a borrowed tool, do you? a: Make sarcastic comments; b: buy a new tool; c: set a lethal trap." The man answers, "C: Set a lethal trap." Later, Dogbert reads the results of the test and says, "I'm afraid you haven't qualified for a normal friend . . . I could set you up with somebody who's new in town, but it wouldn't last." Dogbert says, "There's one option . . . Two, if you count growing sea monkeys." The man stands at Dilbert's door. Dilbert says, "Yes, I hate sea monkeys too. Who are you?"