No Return Messages Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

123 Results for No Return Messages

View 71 - 80 results for no return messages comic strips. Discover the best "No Return Messages" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #scarf retrun, #salesman, #computer, #1000 returns, #compulsive, #company policy, #harvest organs, #sell ebay, #dilmom, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'd like to return this scarf." "What's wrong with it?" "It isn't um...scarfy enough." "I'll just run your card through the computer and..." "Uh-oh...You're on our Bad Customer list. You've returned over a thousand items to this store." "In fact, you've purchased and returned this same scarf seventeen times." "Company policy says that I have to harvest your organs and sell them on eBay." "It was good while it lasted."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, I came to ask you for the new design specs." "But we both know you'll send me to someone who doesn't have them, and that person will refer me back to you." "When I return, you will have escaped to your secret hiding place." "Ted has the specs."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"This week I tried to work, but pop-up messages kept telling me to update my computer's software." "I tried closing the pop-up windows, but they just kept coming back. There were too many of them!" "Did you upgrade your software?" "Great. I see whose side you're on."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

A disturbing number of you have requested the return of Loud Howard. "Loud Howard is one-dimensional. There is nothing clever or insightful about him. He is simply loud." "It is a mystery why anyone would want more of this guy." "THEY LOVE ME!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Get the user data from Ed." "That's impossible." "Ed is an unreachable. He doesn't answer his phone or return messages. He's never in his cubicle and he doesn't read e-mail." "Does he use the restroom?" "No, we think he modified his briefcase."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Return of Topper "Then we started taking RPG fire from a rooftop." "That's nothing." "I strangled 900 insurgents with my bare hands." "That seems unlikely." "That's what the first 600 said."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Our CEO is here to answer any of your questions about our restatement of earnings." "Will you return your $25,000,000 bonus from last year, now that you acknowledge it was unearned?" "And what's your name?" "Dilbert."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'll be right back after I return these dishes to the cafeteria." "Whoa, whoa!" "Winners don't return dishes to the cafeteria." "Then how do the dishes get back?" "You must use your power of low standards." "Just place the dishes on the floor and wait for a loser with high standards." "Gaaa! Dishes on the floor!" "Once again I have to clean up after slobs!" "It is like a miracle." "Now ask her to bring you back a yogurt."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Why don't you answer my e-mails? Do I need to complain to your boss?" "Your messages have too many topics and no paragraph breaks. They are a violation of all that is good and right about e-mail." snork "'Blah, blah, blah, Dilbert is rude...' Geez, I can't even read this mess." click delete

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jesus, #downsized, #return as consultant, #save pensions, #forgetful boss

View Transcript

Transcript

Pronounced Hay-Soos The Boss: Jesus, I thought you got down-sized. Jesus: I came back. Tell the others I was downsized so I could return as a consultant and save their pensions. The Boss: I should have written that down."