Pay Cut Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

435 Results for Pay Cut

View 71 - 80 results for pay cut comic strips. Discover the best "Pay Cut" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags flicking fingers, joyous celebration, linked to pay, success sounds like, snappy sounds

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Alice and Wally stand in Ted's cubicle flicking their fingers. Dilbert says, "Look, Ted! We get paid the same as you but all we're doing is standing around and flicking our fingers." Dilbert continues, "Come join us and flick your fingers in joyous celebration that our performance is not linked to our pay." The Boss sits at his desk listening to the flicking and thinks, "I don't know what success sounds like, but I'll bet this isn't it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bigger portion, success of team, pay depends on coworkers, priorities change

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We're changing the salary plan to make a bigger portion depend on the success of the team." The Boss continues, "We reason that if your pay depends on the success of co-workers, then your priorities will change." Wally and Dilbert look at each other. Wally and Dilbert stand by the printer. Wally looks at a document and says, "Now THAT'S a pretty resume!" Dilbert says, "Stop hogging the good printer."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags effects pay, employee survey, grumpiest employee, morale, touchy feely stuff

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to an employee, "The employee surveys indicate some dissatisfaction in my group. That affects my pay." The Boss continues as the man frowns, "You're my grumpiest employee, so I'm going to fire you to bring up my average score for morale." The Boss walks away thinking, "I think I'm getting better at all the touchy-feely stuff."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogbert teaches math, cut staff, bonus worth, expense requiremnets, calculated, budget, multiply by one, doctor, flashlight, projections come from, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Dogbert teaches business math." Dogbert points to a diagram of an equation. A picture of Wally, Dilbert and Alice illustrates the equation, "Grunts equals zero." The caption says, "#1. Any job that can be done by two people . . ." The Boss stands behind two people. The caption continues, ". . . Can be done by one person for half the cost." The Boss yanks one of the workers out of his chair. The caption says, "#2. A bonus today is worth more than . . ." The Boss holds a large bag of money. The caption continues, ". . . The whole company tomorrow." An office building has a closed sign on it. The caption says, "#3. Your expense requirements for December can be calculated . . ." The Boss sits at his desk writing on a piece of paper. The caption continues, ". . . By taking what's left in the budget and multiplying by one." A delivery person asks the Boss, "Giraffe goes where?" Dogbert says, "Next week, a doctor with a flashlight shows us where sales projections come from."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags telemarketing, bid to run, telemarketers pay themselves, rip[ off people, old people, no way to lose

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. He hands the Boss a document and says, "Here's my bid to run your telemarketing company. Basically, it's no cost to you." Dogbert continues, "My telemarketers pay themselves. If they get a feeble-minded person on the phone they charge them triple and pocket the difference." The Boss says, "There's no way I can lose." Dogbert says, "Don't answer your home phone for a few weeks."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags more work, same tiny raises, clever shift, management philosophy, simple application, annoy, effect pay

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the Boss who is seated at his desk. Dilbert says, "I accomplished twice as much as Wally this year, but we got exactly the same tiny raises." Dilbert says, "I'm wondering if this is a clever shift in management philosophy or a simple application of your ignorance?" The boss says, "You're starting to annoy me." Dilbert replies, "And that would affect my pay how?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags united charity, below average, pay level, income, local agroups, approved list, team player, fund agency, away from scoiety

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally stands in front of Dilbert who is seated at his desk. Wally is reading a piece of paper and says to Dilbert, "Your contributions to 'United Charity' are below average for your pay level." Dilbert says, "Actually, I donate ten percent of my income and thousands of hours to local groups not on your approved list." Wally writes on the sheet, ". . . Not a team player." Dilbert says, "I fund an agency that keeps people like you away from society."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogbert venture capitalist, word processing, windows, interesting concept, french bread

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits in a restaurant with a businessman. The businessman says, "My idea is to develop a word processing program for Windows." Dogbert says, "That's an interesting concept. I wonder if twenty dollars would be enough." The businessman asks, "To start a software company?" Dogbert answers, "No, to pay our waitress to beat you with a loaf of French bread." The waitress enters carrying a loaf of bread.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags reduce budget

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "We've been asked to reduce our budget. I'm going to offer to cut your project because it's the most critical." The Boss continues, "The finance guys won't dare cut that project. My ploy will spare us from any cuts at all." Dilbert says, "Excuse me while I panic." The Boss says, "Tell me again what your project is about. They might ask."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags current resume, new vp, obvious prelude, massive staff cut, worried, all have resume, massive disloyalty

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit around a conference table. The Boss says, "I'd like each of you to give me a current resume." Waving his hands, the Boss continues, "Now, don't be alarmed. It's just so the new VP can get to know you. It's not an obvious prelude to massive staff cuts." Wally, Dilbert and Alice immediately hand resumes to the Boss who asks, "Should I be worried that you all have a current resume on you?" Wally answers, "Don't worry. It's not an obvious prelude to massive disloyalty!"