Planning On Listening Comic Strips - Page 8

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197 Results for Planning On Listening

View 71 - 80 results for planning on listening comic strips. Discover the best "Planning On Listening" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2000's comic on:


Tags #baby cio, #meeting, #diapers, #nature calls, #big words, #very advanced, #baby, #infany, #genius, #smart, #talks, #business

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ALICE: have you met the new CIO? Dilbert: No. Alice: I hear he's young. New Cio: Hello. We need to integrate our enterprise resource planning with our existing E-commerce platform. Now if you'll excuse me. Nature Calls. AAAHHH.... Then we'll decentralize the procurement function and....hold on a second. Gramps could you do me a huge favor?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 2000's comic on:


Tags #planning weddings, #temporary zombie division, #raising babies, #divorcing, #took dog, #good places booked

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The boss approaches a worker who is sitting in front of her computer, arms outstretched and eyes fixed. The boss says, "Helen, I'm transferring you to the temporary zombie division." Pushing Helen along, the boss says, "You will be with other people who are planning weddings, raising babies and divorcing." Helen is amid other zombie like workers, all with outstretched arms. A worker says, "She took my dog." Helen says, "All the good places are booked."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 2000's comic on:


Tags #jruy duty, #what excuse, #happy to serve, #civic responsibility, #insanity, #good one

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Dilbert is sitting in the jury room with two other people. The man sitting next to him asks, "What excuse are you planning to use?" Dilbert says to the man, "I'm happy to serve. It's my civic responsibility." The man says to Dilbert, "Insanity; good one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2001's comic on:


Tags #elboninan fullfillment, #service, #thwart, #300 times, #string phones, #mud pile, #pig, #laughing, #animals

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Two Elbonians each have a tin can with string held up to their ears. One Elbonian says, "This is the Elbonian Fulfillment Service. How may I thwart you?" The Elbonians continue listening to their tin cans. One Elbonian hears, "Grunt grunt grunt grunt grunt." The Elbonian holds his tin can away from his ear and says to the pig, "Okay, it wasn't funny the first 300 times either."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2001's comic on:


Tags #afraid of change, #operation, #someone listened to you, #gender change, #move to china

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Wally and a male co-worker are listening to The Boss. The Boss says, "Don't be afraid of change." The Boss listens as the male co-worker stands up and says, "You're right! I'm going to get a gender change operation and move to China!" Wally says to The Boss, "I've always wondered what would happen if someone listened to you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2001's comic on:


Tags #phone call, #outgoing message, #paris, #press one, #movie, #press two, #bad feeling

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Dilbert, pressing buttons on his portable telephone to the sound of, "beep boop beep," thinks to himself, "I hope she's home." Listening to his phone, Dilbert hears, "If you'd like to take me to Paris, press one. If you are inviting me to a lousy movie, press two." Dilbert presses a button on his phone to the sound of, "beep," and thinks to himself, "I've got a bad feeling about this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2001's comic on:


Tags #expectations, #16 hours a aday, #make tired, #workers, #demands boss, #workers not listening

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The Boss announces, "I expect everyone to work sixteen hours a day." Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at the conference table. Dilbert says, "It seems like that would make us tired." Dilbert turns to Wally and asks, "Wouldn't that make you tired?" Wally replies, "I wasn't listening."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 2001's comic on:


Tags #layoff planning, #fire people, #creeps, #excessive nose haor, #called doctor, #five minute meeting

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Caption reads: "Layoff Planning." Catbert sits with the Boss at a table. The Boss says, "Let's fire all the people who give us the creeps..." "...All the people with excessive nose hair and anyone who insists on being called 'doctor.'" Carol enters into the cubicle of a man with long nose hair and bug eyes. She says, "You've got a five-minute meeting on Friday, Dr. Wolfington."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2002's comic on:


Tags #voluntary layoff package, #ted, #retirement money, #start a business, #kites out of waffles, #worlds largest, #edible kites, #value opinion, #option., #alice

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A coworker comes into Wally's cubicle. The coworker says, "Wally, may I ask you for advice?" Wally responds, "Huh?" The coworker says, "My name is Ted. I'm planning to take the voluntary layoff package." The coworker continues, "Then I plan to use my retirement money to start a business that makes kites out of waffles!" The coworker continues, "In five years I hope to be the world's largest maker of edible kites." The coworker asks, "So, what do you think? I value your opinion." Wally responds, "Ted, who told you that I'd be a good person to ask for an opinion on your idea?" Ted replies, "Alice said it reminded her of the quality of your... ideas." He pauses and then says, "Oh." Wally and Ted are standing hostilely in Alice's cubicle. Alice exclaims, "Alice shoots for the double!!! She scores!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 2002's comic on:


Tags #compost, #coot, #landscaping, #leadership skills, #listening, #long term potential, #performance review, #rating is feral, #squirrely, #thesaurus, #words, #ratings, #new words

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Wally is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "Wally, it's time for your annual performance review." As they're walking to the conference room, The Boss says to Wally, "None of my usual words fit your situation." They enter the conference room and take seats. The Boss continues, "So I had to hit the thesaurus pretty hard." The Boss continues, "Your overall rating is 'feral.'" The Boss continues, "Your leadership skills are rated 'squirrely.'" The Boss continues, "And your teamwork is a solid 'coot.'" The Boss continues, "Your long-term potential is to die in the landscaping and become compost." After the meeting, Dilbert asks Wally, "How'd it go?" Wally responds, "I wasn't really listening."