Poor Choice Comic Strips - Page 8

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145 Results for Poor Choice

View 71 - 80 results for poor choice comic strips. Discover the best "Poor Choice" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #downsizing, #human way, #marketing ones, #giant dung beetle, #ball, #poor performers

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "The downsizing will be handled in the most humane way I could think of." "I hired a giant dung beetle to roll the poor performers into a ball and out the door." "I can't get the marketing ones to stick. They keep sliding off."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hard drive, #too much smut, #film clips, #poor lighting, #move to external, #server, #disabled firewall

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"Alice, my laptop is slowing down. Can you take a look at it?" "Here's the problem. There's too much smut on your hard drive." "I recommend deleting the film clips that have poor lighting." "And here's a whole category that you haven't looked at in weeks." "I'll move those to an external drive in case you need 'em later." "Wally has all this stuff on the server. You don't need it on your laptop." "What the...? You pinhead! You disabled your firewall!" "If you work here long enough, your outrage ends up in all of the wrong places." "Who moved my stapler?!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Today I had a choice of doing something important that no one would ever realize... "...Or doing something useless that would look like an accomplishment." "So I attended meetings until I could no longer appreciate the difference." "Keep up the good work."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"When do I need to give the specs to the programmers?" "They don't need them." "Why? Is it because they already know what to do?" "Yes, exactly. They know how to do that part." "Well, now I have a difficult choice." "I could call the programmers, prove you wrong, and suffer the consequences in a thousand subtle ways..." "Or I could do nothing and wait to get hosed for not providing the specs on time." "Geez. You complain when I don't give you choices too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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I heard that the guy you voted for just confessed to having an affair with a squirrel. "Shut up. The guy you voted for is being sued for choking his secretary." "In some countries they don't get a choice of who to vote for." "I feel sorry for them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"The best choice for employee of the month is..." "Congratulations to Alice for being our employee of the month!" "You get to use my parking spot near the entrance for the rest of the month." "I take public transit to work." "You also get to take the rest of today off." "It's already five o'clock, and you said I need to finish my project by tomorrow morning." "And you get to have pizza with me." "I'm on a @#$% low carb diet!!!" "I nailed it." PIZZA

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pretending, #loyal, #try to appear, #more loyal, #couldn't be more

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CatBert: "Wally, your choice of words leads us to think you are only pretending to be loyal to the company." wally: "Sorry. I'll try to appear more loyal in the future." CAtbert: "You did it again." Wally: "Don't be silly. I couldn't be more loyal."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cansisate, #resume, #spelling errors, #hire a moron, #poor perfromance, #bigger reaise, #interview skills, #crazy good, #manipulate, #job interview

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Dilbert: "Your resume is riddled with spelling errors. Why should we hire a moron?" Candidate: "My poor performance would make you look good in comparison. you'll get a bigger raise if I work here." The boss: "What do you think of him?" Dilbert: "Well, his interview skills are crazy good."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #marketing, #engineers, #percentage increase, #trivial base, #stink eye, #business

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Thanks to marketing. Sales have increased 100%! Dilbert: Question: are you asking a room full of engineers to be excited about a big percentage increase over a trivial base?" Ted You leave me no choice but to give you the stink eye. Dilbert: Ow! Ow! Make it stop!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hands to boss, #insensitive, #plop, #toss, #worked all night, #disregard, #overlooked

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Dilbert: I worked all night to finish the assignments on time. The Boss: Toss it on the pile. Dilbert: I'd feel better if you used a different choice of words." The Boss: Plop it on the top.