Products Harm Enbviornment Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

138 Results for Products Harm Enbviornment

View 71 - 80 results for products harm enbviornment comic strips. Discover the best "Products Harm Enbviornment" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2004's comic on:


Tags #poorly designed product, #ever been killed, #tainted research

View Transcript

Transcript

"This is the Dogbert research company. Have you ever been killed by a poorly designed product?" "My tainted research shows that your products haven't killed anyone." "For an extra $50,000, I can call a second person." "I don't want to jinx it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 2004's comic on:


Tags #berating, #humilation, #importance of work, #making sound rate products, #motivate staff, #no prasie, #no raises, #threats belittling, #trophy wives

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss; I need help motivating the staff. Catbert: what have you already tried? The Boss: Threats, belittling, humiliation, empty promises, berating, slogans , posters and bullying. Catbert: hmmm...we can't praise them or they'd as for raises. Catbert: Maybe they can be motivated by the importance of their work. The boss: their work is making second rate products to sell to idiots so our executives can afford trophy wives. Catbert: have you tried yelling until your face turns purple? The boss> make three copies, please!!!! Carol: This is new.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 2004's comic on:


Tags #vp marketing, #saturate airwaves, #as campiagn, #talking squirrel, #fake accent, #complete fraud, #pack up desk, #ruin everything

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: Our Vp of marketing here to describe our new bet the company strategy. we'll saturate the airwaves with an ad campaign featuring a talking squirrel. He'll have a face norwegian accent like, "Geeve me zee nuts" ha ha! Any questions? Yes, you with the strange ghead, Dilbert: How will a talking squirrel make people but our products? I just realized Ima complete fraud, I'll pack up my desk and leave immediately. The Boss: can we get through one meeting without you ruining everything?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2004's comic on:


Tags #enormous brain, #world changing, #no pay, #no cubilce, #cling to ceiling, #interviews well

View Transcript

Transcript

"If you hire me, I will use my enormous brain to develop world-changing products." "I require no pay and no cubicle. I will eat used paper, and cling to the ceiling." The Boss: "In my defense, he interviews very well." "Zzzz."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 2004's comic on:


Tags #consultation, #enbrace idea, #frees your mid, #profitable products, #ultra donut, #40 thousand calories, #sharp objects

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults Dogbert: Once you embrace the idea that your customers deserve to die... ...it frees your mind to invent splendidly profitable products. Its called the ultra - donut: forty thousand calories and filled with sharp objects.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2005's comic on:


Tags #[roducts name, #means something bad, #elbonian, #pleasure from wedgie, #thinking of trying, #elbonia

View Transcript

Transcript

We've just been informed that our product's name means something bad in the Elbonian language. "It means "the intense pleasure derived from giving yourself a wedgie."" "Thus was hatced the greatest prank ever perpetrated by Elbonia." "I gotta try that."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2005's comic on:


Tags #comapny, #sells defective prodcuts, #karma, #bed doodle, #wandered, #bad things, #they deserve it

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Sometimes I feel guilty because my company sells defective products." DOgbert: "I believe in karma. That means I can do bad things to people all day and I assume they deserve it." Dilbert: "By the way, where are we?" Dogbert: "I think we wandered into a bad doodle."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2005's comic on:


Tags #billion dollar line, #design, #ecstatic, #massive design flaws, #press release, #proper incenives, #stock options, #underwater

View Transcript

Transcript

"I told our CEO that the design would be done in a month. He's ecstatic!" "That would be good except that I told you it won't be done for six months." "Ooh." "So, I guess you'll have to tell him." "It's too late." "He's already issued a press release. You'll have to finish the design in a month." "The only way to do it in a month is to accept massive design flaws that will destroy a billion dollar line of business." "That's okay. My stock options are so underwater that it won't make any difference." "I'll just blame all of the problems on the Chinese company that manufactures our products." "Ultimately, it's the CEO's fault for failing to give me proper incentives."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

CEO Visits "We bought our competitor and we plan to integrate their product line into ours." "Did anyone tell you that their products are worthless pieces of garbage? Maybe that's why they sold the company." "I mean congratulations."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Tech Support "Before I can help you, I need your tech support product identification code." "You can find it by going to your local landfill and digging until you see your product's original packaging." "But don't disturb the seagulls or they'll peck off your face."