Raise Target Comic Strips - Page 8

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221 Results for Raise Target

View 71 - 80 results for raise target comic strips. Discover the best "Raise Target" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags perfromance evaluation, 3% raise, earn a billion, steals as much

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "Write a performance evaluation for yourself." The Boss continues, "Shoot for about 3% raise...because that's what you're getting." Dilbert's computer states, "Dilbert's inventions will earn a billion dollars. But we think he steals almost as much."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags staff cuts, target t shirt, special target

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The Boss says to his staff during a meeting, "This special T-shirt is awarded to Ted for all of his achievements." The Boss continues, "Next on the agenda..." Ted attempts to put on the T-shirt which has a bullseye on the front. The Boss says to the group, "We're planning some staff cuts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags company identified, deadly falling satelites, investigative reporter, plan worked, falling satellites, hit target, boss thought plnned

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The Boss sits at home watching the evening news on television. "Our investigtive reporter has identified the company behind the deadly falling satellites." The television sounds: "Whump!" The next day at the office, the Boss says to Dilbert "Your plan worked." Dilbert replies, "What plan?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags tape pencil, hand, raise, would be unethical, ten percent, hiccup damage, moral compass

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Asok the Intern watches Wally taping a pencil to the hand of The Boss who is comatose. Wally says, "I'll tape a pencil to his hand and use it to sign off on a raise for me." Asok the Intern says to Wally, "That would be so unethical... hiccup. May I have ten percent?" Wally works on getting the pencil into the comatose Boss' hand as Asok says, "That hiccup damaged my moral compass."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags billion shares, dot com subsidary, fire everyone, presdient, raise, stock, promoting

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "I'm promoting you to president of our dot-com subsidiary." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Your job is to fire everyone." Dilbert asks, "Would I get a raise?" The Boss answers, "How does a billion shares of stock sound?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags no raise, not enough questions, meetings, care about job, thirst for knowledge, likes wood

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Asok the Intern sits across from the Boss. The Boss says, "I can't give you a raise. You don't ask enough questions in meetings." The Boss continues, "Questions show that you care about your job and have a thirst for knowledge." Asok is seen at a staff meeting, hand raised, asking, "Who else likes wood?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags save money, firings, consultants, flossie, highly technical work, invitation, shake hands, greeting ritual, brain overload, raise rates, over reacts, dumb woman, lost, freak, new hire

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The Boss comes into Brian's cubicle and says, "I'm sorry, Brian. I have to fire all my consultants to save money." Brian turns to the Boss and asks, "Who will do your highly technical work?" The Boss brings in a woman and says to Brian, "You can transfer all your knowledge to Flossie." Brian holds out his hand to shake hands and says, "Hi." Flossie grips a pencil in her hand and says, "What's with the hand? Do you want to borrow my pencil?" Brian replies, "Um...no. This is an invitation to shake hands. It's a greeting ritual." Flossie grabs her head and shouts, "OUCH!! Brain overload!! It's too much information!!" Flossie puts both hands on either side of her head and repeats, "Purge! Purge! Purge!" Flossie stares at Brian blankly and says calmly, "Where am I?" Brian thinks to himself, "I need to raise my rates."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cubicle time, isn't productive, set priorities, projects flounder, big raise, either way, cubicle

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The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, may I have a word with you?" The Boss continues, "You're not spending enough time in your cubicle." The Boss continues, "It looks as if our department isn't productive." Alice responds, "But.. I can't do my job from my cubicle." The Boss replies, "You have to set priorities. Looking productive is very important to this department." Alice clenches her fists in anger. Alice exclaims, "Will I get a big raise for looking busy while my projects flounder?!" The Boss replies, "You won't get a big raise either way." The Boss continues, "Here's a blank piece of paper to carry back to your cubicle." Alice clenches her fists again and cries, "GAAA!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags use my raise, move from home, handicapped stall, storage facility, house warming, gift, flashlight, hesitate, call alice

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Dilbert, Wally, and Asok are eating lunch. Asok says, "I plan to use my raise to move my home in the handicapped stall to a storage facility." Asok continues, "If you are trying to think of a housewarming gift, I wouldn't say no to a flashlight." Wally says, "If you need help moving, don't hesitate to call Alice." Asok replies, "You are too kind."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags superior perfromance, not effective, budget increase approved, retroactive, be happy, some no raises, 10% raise, future raise

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The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, your performance this year was superior. I'm giving you a 10 % raise." The Boss continues, "But it's not effective right away." "It kicks in as soon as soon as my budget increase gets approved." Carol asks, "When will that be?" The Boss responds, "As soon as the economy improves and profits go up!" Carol asks, "But my raise will be retroactive to today, right?" The Boss replies, "No." The Boss continues, "You should be happy. Some people aren't getting any raises at all." Carol holds one arm down with the other and thinks, "Must.. control fist... of death." Carol bumps into Wally in the hallway. Wally says, "I just got a 14% future raise just for showing up." Carol holds her arm down again and exclaims, "Gaaa!!!"