Reason With Idiots Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Reason With Idiots

View 71 - 80 results for reason with idiots comic strips. Discover the best "Reason With Idiots" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #dying, #smart, #pap smear, #normal

View Transcript

Transcript

A doctor says to Dilbert, "It seems we had a mix-up with your test results." Dilbert asks, "Then I'm not dying?" The doctor replies, "We doctors are amazingly smart, but occasionally we make a little error." Dilbert says, "Well . . . I understand." The physician looks at a chart and says, "By the way, your pap smear was normal."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #calculations, #collection, #business, #curb, #pick-up, #pizza, #delivery

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at the desk with a calculator and paper in front of him. Dogbert tells Dilbert, "By my calculations, we can make millions by combining a mortuary business and a garbage collection business." Dogbert continues, "Our customers could simply leave the dearly departed by the curb for pick-up." Dilbert says, "Maybe we could add pizza delivery, too." Dogbert says, "Let's not push a good idea too far."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #fancy hotels, #tip, #maid, #concierge, #french-sounding

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert's suitcase sits on a bed. Dilbert thinks, "I hate fancy hotels like this . . ." Dilbert reaches for the door and thinks, "Am I expected to tip the maid when I leave?" Dilbert thinks, "I could ask that concierge guy . . . Can I trust a guy with a French-sounding job? . . . And do I have to tip HIM?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #wasting, #madonna, #sun tan, #lotion, #applicator, #barbie

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert, "While you were wasting your time at work I came up with a million dollar idea." Dogbert shows Dilbert a bottle with a doll on the top. Dogbert says, "It's the 'Madonna Sun Tan Lotion Applicator' for lonely guys!!" Dilbert says, "I'll take one." Dogbert says, "It looks like Barbie on a stick, but it's Madonna."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #date, #guys, #unemployed, #new, #job, #social, #security, #Number, #social security number, #interest, #there

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman at a desk tells Dilbert, "Sorry, I don't date guys from work." Dilbert says, "I'll resign . . ." The woman says, "Sorry, I don't date unemployed guys." Dilbert says, "I . . . I'll get a new job . . . One you approve of." The woman says, "Sorry, I don't date guys with your social security number." Back at home, Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dogbert says, "So, it turns out her unlucky number has nine digits in it . . ." Dilbert says, "But she knew my social security number, so I think there's some interest there . . ."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #corporate, #philosophy, #shoot, #messenger, #consulted, #engineering, #department, #launched, #ill-conceived product, #humiliated, #fired, #eileen, #document, #carpet

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands at the front of the room giving a presentation. A man sitting at the conference table says, "Be candid, Dilbert. We have a corporate philosophy that says we 'don't shoot the messenger.'" Dilbert replies, "Good." Dilbert points to a diagram and says, "Had you consulted with the engineering department, you never would have launched such an ill-conceived product." Dilbert continues, "It is doomed to fail. You will all be humiliated and probably fired." A woman holding a rifle shouts, "Can't I just wing him?!!" A man says, "No, Eileen, that's not our philosophy." Dilbert arrives at home with tar and feathers on his body. He tells Dogbert, "It turns out the corporate philosophy is a very flexible document." Dogbert says, "You're getting tar on the carpet."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #napping, #again, #famous people, #functioned, #sleep, #jackie gleason, #ben franklin, #attractive

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert lies on his pillow. Dilbert says, "Dogbert . . . Napping again?" Dilbert says, "Don't you know that many famous people functioned with very little sleep . . .? There were Jackie Gleason, Ben Franklin, Napoleon . . ." Dogbert says, "I like to think I'm more attractive than any of those guys."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #dorgy, #industrialist, #japanese, #maid, #promoted, #ww2

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Dorgy, why are you dressed like a maid? Dorgy: Dogbert is teaching me capitalism. Today I am lowly maid. But with hard work I will be promoted to job as major industrialist. Right? Apparently there is flaw in system. Dogbert: Yeah, but we blame it on the Japanese,

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #blind, #reference, #smart, #attracted, #intelligent, #thoughts, #woman, #date

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror tying his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed. Dilbert says, "I've got a blind date with the lady who works at the library reference desk." Dogbert asks, "What if she's ugly?" Dilbert replies, "Looks aren't important. She sounded very smart over the phone, and I'm attracted to intelligent women." Dogbert says, "Oh . . . right." Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant with a woman who has a huge head. Dilbert asks, "Uh . . . Should I talk, or will you be reading my thoughts directly?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #working, #reference, #inadequate, #talking, #pages

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant with a woman who has a huge head. Dilbert asks, "So, uh . . . How do you like working at the library reference desk?" The woman replies, "It's pretty good, now that I've memorized all the books. No more flipping through pages . . ." Dilbert says, "I'm feeling a bit inadequate at the moment." The woman replies, "Don't worry. I'll just think about other things while you're talking."