Reduce Costs Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

142 Results for Reduce Costs

View 71 - 80 results for reduce costs comic strips. Discover the best "Reduce Costs" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2003's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #cut costs, #bottom of ocena, #crushed by pressure, #breathing issue, #whiner, #labeled a whiner

View Transcript

Transcript

"Catbert, evil H.R. director." "In order to cut costs, some of you will be relocated to the bottom of the ocean." "Wouldn't we be crushed by the pressure?" "Every job has some pressure." "And then there's the breathing issue." "I label you a whiner."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2003's comic on:


Tags #manager of executive compensation, #plan to steal, #meeting, #back slapping, #pormises, #raises, #ponys, #vacations, #huge raise, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: "I'd like you to meet Bradley, our new manager of executive compensation." Boss: "Bradley's job is to recommend to our board how much to pay company executives such as me." "Bradley is totally objective." Bradley: "Totally." "That was a world-class observation, so I'll recommend that the company buy you a pony." "...A STRONG pony to carry the huge bags of cash I recommend for you." Boss: "Good work, Bradley. I'll recommend to the board that you get a huge raise!" Dilbert: "Gaaa!! Stop pretending to have reasons!! Just steal the stupid money!!!" Boss: "See what I have to deal with every day?" Bradley: "Would an extra month of vacation reduce the sting?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2004's comic on:


Tags #profits down, #sales department, #warhouse, #book

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "Profits are down, so we fired the sales department to reduce costs." "This strategy heavily depends on people driving to our warehouse and begging for our products." "Do you think I should write a book?" Dilbert: "I'd try reading one first."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2004's comic on:


Tags #real estate agent, #10 million, #first property, #covered with frogs, #banshee farm, #access road, #boiling cesspool

View Transcript

Transcript

The real estate agent The first property costs $10 million. Its covered with endangered frogs and its next to a banshee farm. The access road is a narrow path across a boiling cesspool of tormented souls.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2004's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #himan resources, #cheaper, #employee wellness program, #sick days, #incentives, #highly paid workers, #more fun

View Transcript

Transcript

"Catbert: Evil director of human resources" "I can't decide what's cheaper..." "...An employee wellness program to reduce sick days or incentivizing the older, highly paid workers to die." "Maybe you could use math to figure it out." "When I said cheaper, I meant more fun."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2004's comic on:


Tags #product development, #two thirds, #Features, #reduce scope, #change request, #stacks of paper, #mean, #unethical, #passive agressive

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our budget won't cover all of the product development. We can only do two thirds of the features for that amount. The Boss: reduce the scope of the project by one third. Dilbert: Okay. The boss: but theoretically.... Dilbert: No...dear lord, no. The boss: Id I later give you a change request to add one feature could you do it for the same budget. Dilbert One? sure. DATA GOES IN : MANAGEMENT COMES OUT. One sure changes are free, Carol: where do I put the change requests?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2004's comic on:


Tags #revenue, #people killed by product, #health risks, #kills people

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Our revenue is now double the number of people that our product has killed recently." Asok: "Our product costs $80. Are you saying that each one kills 40 people?" The Boss: "Our customers know the health risks, so technically they're killing themselves." Group: "So technically we aren't scum?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 2004's comic on:


Tags #financial troll, #demands lower prices, #shopping, #walgetco

View Transcript

Transcript

Financial troll: "Every time we cut costs, our distributor, Walgetco, takes the gain by demanding lower prices." The Boss: "Thank you for shopping at Walgetco! Have a nice day!" Financial Troll "Maybe it's too late." The boss: "Troll accessories are on aisle six!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2005's comic on:


Tags #new strategy, #sales stink, #cutting costs, #lose hope, #working great, #higher margins

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Our new strategy is to sell fewer units at higher margins." Dilbert: "Question: How's that different from saying our sales stink, so we're cutting costs?" The Boss: "I call it a strategy so you won't lose hope." Dilbert: "It's working great."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2005's comic on:


Tags #pre meeting, #problems, #fix them, #budgets, #deadlines, #technical stuff, #any questions, #feel nauseated, #great job, #compliments

View Transcript

Transcript

Let's have a pre-meeting before your meeting with our vice president. "Don't mention any problems because he might try to fix them." "Don't say anything about budgets or deadlines because he might reduce them." "Leave out the technical stuff because it will only confuse him." "That leaves me nothing to talk about." "Perfect!" "Hello... And in summary. Are there any questions?" "Wow! That's the first presentation that hasn't made me feel nauseated or dizzy! Great job!" "Why does success make me hate humanity?" "They deserve it."