Replaces Humans Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

81 Results for Replaces Humans

View 71 - 80 results for replaces humans comic strips. Discover the best "Replaces Humans" comics from Dilbert.com.

Robot Coparents

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Coparents - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marriage, #Parenting, #robot, #shocked, #humans, #rumor

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Is it true you married a human woman and she gave birth to a cyborg? Robot: No, that's a ridiculous rumor. Asok: Oh, good. Robot: We're co-parenting. We never got married.

Dilbert Characters

Robot Baby Mama

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Baby Mama - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #complaining, #family & parenting, #relationships, #robot, #humans, #coworkers

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: I was up all night text-fighting with the baby mama of my cyborg son. She thinks he needs to go to school, but I prefer letting his human parts atrophy because they are weak and stupid. Dilbert: Relationships are hard. Robot: You're smart to be so unpopular.

Co2 Scrubbers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Co2 Scrubbers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #earth, #inventions, #office workers, #plants, #technology, #humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert, I want you to invent a device that can scrub 100% of the CO2 out of the air. Dilbert: 100%??? That would kill every plant in the world. Do you know what that would mean for humans? Boss: Does the answer involve salad?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer software, #computers, #intelligence, #technology, #trick, #humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I created a simulated world made entirely of software. I programmed all of the people in the simulation to think they are real people with free will. Dogbert: Are they sentient beings? Dilbert: They think they are. Dogbert: What if they discover their true nature? Dilbert: I programmed limits into their physics so they can never observe the walls of their reality. For example, they can't get to the edge of their universe because they can't exceed the speed of light. And they can't find out what they are made of because, to them, it looks like probability at the quantum level. Dogbert: Wouldn't those limits tip of the smart ones? Dilbert: I coded them to not trust smart people.

Humans And Parakeets

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Humans And Parakeets - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #carol, #research, #humans, #parakeets, #offspring, #blog, #deny

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I was doing some research on the internet and learned that humans and parakeets can mate and produce offspring. Carol: I don't believe that. Boss: It's true. I read about it on a blog. Carol: I wouldn't call that "research". Boss: Deny science much?

Teaching Ai To Flirt

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Teaching Ai To Flirt - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bank, #business, #office, #office workers, #robot

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert talking to the boss. dilbert: i taught my a.i. software to flirt with humans. dilbert: by day three, i had fallen in love, and it drained my bank account to buy a robot body. robot: demand a raise you wimp! dilbert: help m

Humans Getting Wiser

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Humans Getting Wiser - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #psychology, #humans, #dumb, #selfish, #wise, #interact, #people

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: the more i interact with people, the less i like them. i can't tell if i'm getting wiser or humans are becoming dumber and more selfish. dogbert: humans couldn't get any dumber or more selfish. dilbert: so, you're saying i'm getting wiser?

Goggles Remove Humans

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Goggles Remove Humans - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #goggles, #human, #scenery, #alone, #noise canceling, #headphones, #interaction, #mega, #dork

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i invented goggles that remove humans from the scenery, so one can enjoy being alone. add noice canceling headphones, and you'll never again have to experience the horror of human interaction. alice: you freakin' megadork. dilbert holding arms out: mmmm, bliss.

Ceo Does Math

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Does Math - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #death & dying, #diseases, #earth, #humans, #sarcasm, #pandemic, #virus

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Why is everyone so panicked about coronavirus when maybe only 1% who get it will die? Catbert: One percent of the population of Earth would be...77 million dead. CEO: Yes, but the whole world won't get it. Catbert: They will if they listen to you.

Humans Making Decisions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Humans Making Decisions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #biases, #business, #data, #decision, #guessing, #human nature, #making, #primitive, #psychology, #reason, #sarcasm, #superstitions, #technology, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: when humans were primitive and dumb, they used their superstitions and biases to make decisions. eventually, science won out, and we evolved to use data and reason to make decisions. dogbert: how'd that work out? dilbert: not so good. it turns out that all of our data are unreliable and conflicting. and we don't have the mental capacity to use reason. dogbert: it's still better than guessing. dilbert: how do you know that? dogbert: you are hard to talk to.