Resistant To Change Comic Strips - Page 8
252 Results for Resistant To Change
View 71 - 80 results for resistant to change comic strips. Discover the best "Resistant To Change" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share August 08, 1998's comic on:
Tina the tech writer interviews Dilbert. Dilbert says, "I'm creating a digital archive of the world's greatest art. But my boss insists on "fixing" the artists' mistakes." Tina laughs. Tina the tech writer says, "This is such a funny story for the newsletter!" The boss sit at his desk. The boss says, "It's a funny story, but change 'fixing' to 'dramatically improving.'" Tina clenches her fists in agony.
Share August 29, 1998's comic on:
The boss stands. Dilbert sits. The Boss says, "Don't think of yourself as a powerless peon in a box." The Boss says, "You're an agent of change is a dynamic, natural work group." Dilbert stands in front of his cubicle. Dilbert says, "Can I put that on my business cards?" The Boss says, "I'd rather not leave a paper trail."
Share September 14, 1998's comic on:
Wally walks into a meeting. Asok, The Boss and Dilbert sit at the conference table. Wally says, "I got caught in traffic." The Boss says, "Let me recap what you missed. We spent the past hour deciding not to change the name of our department." Asok says, "You just inadvertently trained me to be late to all meetings." Wally smiles. The Boss says, "Oops."
Share September 19, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his cubicle. Dilbert thinks, "I don't have any meetings today." Dilbert thinks, "I'll change all my software settings until something soesn't work." The Boss pokes his head into Dilbert's cubicle. The Boss says, "Keep up the good work." Dilbert says, "Keep up the good managing."
Share October 18, 1998's comic on:
The Boss peers into Dilbert's cubicle and thinks, "It's time to delegate." The Boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to give me a new cash flow estimate for your project." Dilbert replies, "Okay, fine." The Boss asks, "When will I get it?" Dilbert asks, "When do you need it?" The Boss says, "As soon as possible!" Dilbert says, "Okay." The Boss asks, "When do you think that will be?" Dilbert turns and says, "I usually wait a few days to see if you change your mind." Dilbert continues, "Then I'll give you last year's cash flow as a test to see if you read it." The Boss leaves the cubicle and thinks, "The more experience they get, the worse they are."
Share October 25, 1998's comic on:
The Boss enters Alice's cubicle and says, "In order to improve communications..." Alice says, "Please don't." The Boss says, "Every morning I'll give you two pennies." The Boss holds out the change and says, "Every afternoon, you return them and 'give me your two cents' worth.'" The Boss stares at Alice and says, "Get it? It's cute." Alice asks, "So I get to keep the money if I avoid seeing you?" The Boss stands and holds his hands together. Alice continues, "How much will you pay me to avoid your voice mail too?" Alice leans over the wall of the cubicle and calls after the Boss, "I'll pretend you're dead for a nickel." The Boss says, "I hate them all."
Share November 10, 1998's comic on:
The Boss and Dilbert sit at a table. The Boss has a piece of paper in front of him and Dilbert has his laptop. The Boss says, "I'll need a project plan to justify the resources we need to change our software." Dilbert says, "I can make those software shnages in ten seconds." Dilbert types on the laptop. He says, "Done." The Boss says, "Good work. Now all we need is that plan."
Share December 20, 1998's comic on:
The Boss leans into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "We have a problem." The Boss holds up a cutout arrow and says, "I ordered these direction signs for our conference tomorrow." The Boss holds the arrow in front of him and says, "But they all point to the right. I need left arrows." The Boss asks, "Is it too late to change the site of the conference to match the arrows?" Dilbert thinks and says, "Well, that would put us in the middle of a lake." Dilbert continues, "I guess we could get a helicopter to built a deep- water platform hotel...by tomorrow." The Boss holds the arrow and says, "Okay, but get to bids." He turns the arrow, and it now points to the left. He looks down and says, "What?" The Boss walks out of the cubicle carrying the arrow and staring at it. He says, "Spooky."
Share May 30, 1999's comic on:
The boss hands Alice a piece of paper. The boss says, "Alice make a few changes to this contract." Alice says, "Changes? This contract was signed months ago." The boss says, "It doesn't hurt to ask." Alice says, "You want me to ask for a sixty percent discount?" The boss says, "No one said it would be easy." Alice says, "You're asking me to be a clueless jerk in front of our primary vendor." Alice says, "Please don't ask me to do this." The boss says, "And ask if they'll change the part about "acts of God" to include poltergeists." The boss walks away and thinks, "That's why our vendors never try to steal our best employees."
Share July 26, 1999's comic on:
Dilbert says, to the boss, "You gave me a project that can't be funded because it's not in the strategic plan." Dilbert says, "An you won't let me make waves by asking for a change to the strategic plan." Dilbert says, "So I'll be in my cubicle creating "powerpoint" slide and praying for recognition."