Secretaries (Office) Comic Strips - Page 8
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
1000 Results for Secretaries (Office)
View 71 - 80 results for secretaries (office) comic strips. Discover the best "Secretaries (Office)" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday January 25,
1994
Tags bad timing, corporate offcie, declared war, french embassy, satellite program, slingshot
Transcript
Dilbert: The corporate office sent me to head up the Elbonian satellite launching program. Elbanian: ooh...bad timing. The french delivered their satellite early. we already tried to launch it with the town slingshot. Dilbert: It doesn't get much worse than this. Elbonain: It flattened the french embassy. They declared war an hour ago.
Monday February 21,
1994
Tags back of neck, humane, layoffs, tranquilizer, unemployment offcie, wake up, shooter, gun, knocked out
Transcript
The Boss: The layoffs will be handled in the most human way possible. POW! Dilbert: How long does the tranquilizer last? The Boss: he'll wake up at the unemployment office,
Friday February 25,
1994
Tags eliminated budget, getting dumber, brain shrivel, hair different
Transcript
Dilbert: You've completely eliminated the budget for technical training! Im getting dumber every minute, My brain is starting to shrivel like a raisin! The Boss: Get out of my office. Dilbert: even my hair feels different.
Monday March 21,
1994
Tags dilbert date, asks lunch date, cheryl, full of lunch, rejection, next week, turned down, lame excuse, office, co worker
Transcript
Dilbert: Hi Cheryl. would you like to have lunch with me next week? Cheryl: I..uh...already ate lunch. Im not hungry. Dilbert: Im talking about next week!! Cheryl: I don't think I can have another bite, all full.
Tuesday April 05,
1994
Tags corporate politics, waste basket, teach everything, promoted level
Transcript
Dilbert: I want you to teach me everything you know about corporate politics so I can get promoted to your level. The Boss: To truly understand office politics you must wear a waste basket on your head for one full day. LATER Dilbert: Does this really work? The Boss: It works for me.
Friday April 08,
1994
Tags lottery tickets, sale, value, yesterdays lottery, half priced lottery, cheat, scam, Dogbert, salesman, scammer, office dog, customer
Transcript
"What makes these a 'value'?" "Value priced lottery tickets" "They're half the normal price, and yet the chance of winning is only one in ten million less." "Hey! This is for yesterday's lottery!" "And your point is...?
Wednesday April 27,
1994
Tags upgrade boss computer, cardboard prop, came with desk, new mother board, new desk, needs, no actual computer
Transcript
The Boss: "I want you to help me upgrade the computer in my office." Dilbert: "The computer in your office is a cardboard prop that came with your desk." The Boss: "So, I need a new motherboard, right?" Dilbert: "No, you need a new desk."
Monday June 06,
1994
Tags choke on donut, psychic powers, bob in office
Transcript
Dilbert: Is Bob in his office? Carol: Since Bob's office is all of twenty feet away, I'll have to use my psychic powers to determine the answer. Dilbert: I could go look. Carol: Bob hates you, He secretly wishes you'd choke on a donut.
Sunday June 12,
1994
Tags aa meeting, ratbert, fear of computers, technophobe, wrong meeting, alcoholics anonymous, interupt, elaborate excuses, avoid computers, web of deception
Transcript
Ratbert: My name is Ratbert. I fear the information superhighway. Like most of you, my problem started because I never learned to type. I thought only secretaries needed to type. Then the computers came. At first I dismissed them as mere toys for men with no social skills. Soon they were everywhere. I would invent elaborate excuses to avoid computers. I was caught in my own web of deception. MAN: This is "alcoholics anonymous" Ratbert: I didn't interrupt you. Man: Can we talk about me now?
Monday June 20,
1994
Tags behead, corporate head hunter, employee, new employees, staffing problem, you'd be flexible, go postal, post office employee
Transcript
"We've never needed a corporate headhunter before, but now it's the only way to solve our staffing problem." "Are you aware that headhunters find new employees? We don't behead the ones you already have." "I don't suppose you'd be flexible..." "I could find a disgruntled ex-post office employee for you."

