Security Guard Comic Strips - Page 8
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View 71 - 80 results for security guard comic strips. Discover the best "Security Guard" comics from Dilbert.com.
Famous artist Dogberto will tell us his plans for our lobby. "I plan to buy a drop cloth at Home Depot and drape it over the security desk." "Won't that be hard on the guard?" "Not until I douse it with gas and light it."
DilMom "Your security software is out of date..." "Uh-oh." "Would you like to spend the rest of your natural life trying to figure out how to upgrade it?" "Erk!" "Or would you prefer to let hackers steal your identity, drain your bank accounts and destroy your hard drive?" "I need more choices!"
The Boss: From now on, all travel must be booked through the corporate travel web site. Alice: Our travel web site is terrible. It only lets you book the cheapest flight, and that's always on Elbonian Airlines. The Boss: Don't be such a snob. What's wrong with using a discount airline? Alice: Well, they list their destination airports as 'whatever looks soft'. The meals in first class are made of anyone who dies in coach. Their entire security screening process involves shouting at each passenger 'Are you Osama bin Laden?!!!'" "And I once saw a baggage handler wearing my dress. The Boss: Whiner.
CatBert: People are complaining about how you use your security card. "We'd appreciate it if you didn't keep it in your front pocket and thrust it at the door sensor." Wally: "I didn't know the security card was why the door opened."
Dogbert the security consultant Dogbert: "Be on the lookout for any suspicious behavior." "If you see a guy do something that you wouldn't do, beat him to death with a trash can." The Boss: "Can we use recycle bins?" Asok: "I wouldn't have asked that question."
Dogbert the security consultant Dogbert: "If you see someone without an ID badge..." "...Strip search him, confiscate his wallet, and lock him in the janitor's closet until he starves!" The boss: "That seems a bit extreme." Dogbert: "You're about one minute away from living on mop water."
Mordac, the preventer of information services. Mordac: "Security is more important than usability." "In a perfect world, no one would be able to use anything." Asok: To complete the log-in procedure. Stare directly at the sun.
The Boss: Is this 'take your daughter to work day' again? Girl: No, I'm a free-lancer. I've narrowed my career choices to prison guard or monkey trainer. The boss: I don't see how coming here will help. Girl: I'll give you a banana if you show me your cubicles.
Ted: Your most sensitive materials should always be sent in an interoffice envelope marked 'top secret. Dilbert: Are you a moron who works in our security department, or an industrial spy who is too lazy to look through lots of envelopes? The boss: Our security guys don't slap that hard or run that fast.