Social Plans Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

188 Results for Social Plans

View 71 - 80 results for social plans comic strips. Discover the best "Social Plans" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2010's comic on:


Tags #urban legends, #reality, #check up, #underwear, #doctor, #exam, #social security number, #tic tacs, #pills, #trick, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I can't tell the difference between urban legends and reality." Doctor says, "I'll need your social security number so I can tell the government not to count any votes you cast." The Boss says, "You can do that?" Doctor says, "Here're some pills that look exactly like tic tacs."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2010's comic on:


Tags #coworker, #favor, #hairless potter, #harry potter, #drinking coffee, #magic, #social convention, #awe, #excitement, #baldemort

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "Wally, will you do me a favor?" Wally says, "Absolutely. What are friends for?" Wally says, "After all, you'd do a favor for me if I asked, right?" Coworker says, "Um? sure." Wally says, "Of course you would." Wally says, "So do me a favor and don't ask me to do any favors." Coworker says, "Wow. Okay. I did not see that coming." Asok says, "You're like a wizard who uses the rules of social convention as if they are magic." Asok says, "You're Hairless Potter!" Wally says, "Don't tell Baldemort."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2010's comic on:


Tags #management theory, #engineer, #find, #choices, #unhelpful, #useless, #office, #characters, #impractical, #doomed, #high demand, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "I need you to assign one of your engineers to my project." The Boss says, "Follow me and I'll show you your choices." The Boss says, "This one is highly capable, but she's in such high demand that you'll be lucky if she ever returns a call." The Boss says, "This one is aggressively unhelpful." The Boss says, "This one will tell you that all of your plans are impractial and doomed." The Boss says, "That one is an intern, so no one takes him seriously." The Boss says, "My management theory is that nature makes everyone useless in their own way." Man says, "I'm not useless." The Boss says, "Said the man who can't find a good engineer."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2010's comic on:


Tags #computer, #engineer, #worst user interface, #click, #sell social security number, #overhead view of cubicle, #technology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilber thinks, "The world's greatest engineer prepares to do battle with the world's worst user interface." Dilbert thinks, "I hope that did something." Computer says, "Your social security number has been sold."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2010's comic on:


Tags #new employee, #coworker, #meeting, #introduce, #front, #marketing, #social media, #facebook, #twitter, #blog, #scared, #point, #accuse, #fire, #business, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Beth is our new marketing manager for social media." The Boss says, "By the way, company policy forbids the use of Facebook and Twitter at work. And we don't trust you to work from home." The Boss says, "If you blog about how lame we are, you're fired!!!" Beth thinks, "First day, not so good."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #facebook, #twitter, #marketing, #social media, #new employee, #coworker, #cats, #drunk, #stupid, #business, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Beth says, "As the marketing manager for social media, my job is to use these two words a lot." Beth says, "Marketing through social media is like herding cats. And just to make it interesting, many of the cats are drunk and stupid." Dilbert says, "Burn." Catbert says, "I am totally defriending that witch."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #quotes, #tweet, #twitter, #social media, #phones, #book deal, #excited, #business, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Our highest priority is satisfying our customers? except when it is hard? or unprofitable? or we're busy." CLICK CLICK CLICK The Boss says, "Are you tweeting my quotes?" Asok says, "Book deal! Cha-ching!!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2010's comic on:


Tags #book deal, #quotes, #stupid, #dumb, #quote fingers, #intellectual, #tweet, #twitter, #social media, #angry, #grit teeth, #nonsense, #yell, #spill coffee, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "Good news: I got a book deal based entirely on the dumb things you've said." Asok says, "It's totally legal because the law only protects 'intellectual' property." The Boss says, "Frugga bugga!!!" Asok says, "And so began the sequel."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2010's comic on:


Tags #new boyfriend, #coworker, #angry, #jack, #clench fist, #engineer, #social, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "Dilbert, meet my new boyfriend, angry Jack." Alice says, "People say my high level of engineering skill comes at the cost of good social judgment." Dilbert says, "Alice, his name is Angry Jack." Alice says, "I think he wants to hold my hand now."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2010's comic on:


Tags #employee, #human resources, #Promotion, #raise, #facebook; social networks, #excited, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "For the past six months you've done nothing but update your Facebook page." Catbert says, "Now we have an opening for a marketing manager for social networks and you're totally qualified. It's a huge raise and promotion." Man says, "Crime pays! I knew it!!!" Catbert says, "We're hoping you can lie as well as you steal."