Special Unifrom Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

92 Results for Special Unifrom

View 71 - 80 results for special unifrom comic strips. Discover the best "Special Unifrom" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"The new employee at work is hot, and she's getting special treatment. How can I get rid of her?" "Water finds its own level. She'll leave within a week." "They say that most people meet their future spouses at work." erk!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2008's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #friday morning, #bagel friday, #separates us, #special, #bagels, #reward, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Wally, I need you to attend a meeting on Friday morning. But that is bagel Friday. It's the only thing that separates us from the animals. The Boss: You could get a bagel to go. Wally: It's as if you don't want to understand.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2008's comic on:


Tags #breakroom, #coffee into wine, #hay-soos, #jesus, #miracle, #new employee, #special powers, #hair, #bald

View Transcript

Transcript

Pronounced Hay-soos Wally: With a name like Jesus, I can't promise I won't mock you. Foop! Jesus: baldness be gone. Wally: I'm not lazy...and I can see! Jesus: Don't spill your wine."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2008's comic on:


Tags #elf, #feel special, #likes pets, #random stack, #birthday, #birthday cards

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "Today is Shelly's birthday. We should make her feel special." Alice says, "Do you still have that random stack of birthday cards you got on sale last year?" Dilbert says, "I'm all over it." Alice says, "She likes pets. The closest thing you have is an elf." Dilbert says, "Draw whiskers on it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2008's comic on:


Tags #blame, #costume, #date, #lying, #work clothes, #scapegoat, #depatment, #entire comapny, #men in unifrom

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I didn't have time to change out of my work clothes." Dilbert says, "I'm working as a scapegoat for my department. Someday I hope to be a scapegoat for the entire company." Dilbert says, "You told me women like men in uniform." Dogbert says, "I say things."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2009's comic on:


Tags #problem, #ignorance, #hiding, #budget

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Customers can't figure out our user interface. the boss says, "They should read the manual." Dilbert says, "Our manual is more confusing than our user interface." The boss says, "They can use our onine support database." Dilbert says, "That's more confusing than our manual." The boss says, "We have no money to fix any of that." The boss says, "In situations like this, I like to go to my special place" The boss says, "Someday I hope to have a special place big enough for my entire body." the boss says, "Problem solved."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2009's comic on:


Tags #interview, #trick, #scheme, #selling, #laptops, #disappointed, #stupidity

View Transcript

Transcript

Job interview Dogbert says, "Do you have any sales experience?" Man says, "No, but I?" Dogbert says, "Okay, whatever." Dogbert says, "There's no base pay. You only get paid opn commission." Dogbert says, "And you'll need a special laptop for this job." Dogbert says, "you can buy it from our company with a 5% employee discount." Dogbert says, "You're hired." Man says, "Yes! And my friends told me I would never find a sales job in this weak economy!" Man says, "By the way, what does the company sell?" Dogbert says, "We sell laptops to idiots."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 2010's comic on:


Tags #special project, #secret, #confidential, #dig grave, #shovel, #death, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I need you to work on a highly confidential project." The Boss says, "When you're done, I want you to dig your own shallow grave and beat yourself to death with the shovel." Dilbert says, "Why does it feel as if my entire career has been preparation for this project?" The Boss says, "You're welcome."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2010's comic on:


Tags #special project, #secret, #confidential, #idiot, #question, #placebo

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I need answers to these questions for a confidential project. I can't tell you more." Coworker says, "I'm a complete idiot and even I can deduce from your questions what the project must be." Dilbert says, "I anticipated that, so some of you idiots are getting placebo questions." Coworker says, "Well played."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2011's comic on:


Tags #libertarianism, #taxidermy, #critter, #con humans, #stuffed humans, #breathing humans, #two critter special

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "I'd like a quote for taxidermy on this critter." Man says, "The law says I can't stuff humans, especially when they're still breathing." Man says, "But I believe in small government, so roll him to the back."