Started Own Compnay Comic Strips - Page 8
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Share September 01, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert stands on a chair and hands Dilbert a form. Dogbert says, "Here are the Dogbert tax forms. Pay promptly or you will be penalized." Dilbert says, "It's not fair!" Dilbert says, "You can't just levy your own taxes; what makes you think I'll pay?" Dogbert replies, "If not, I'll put you in my new prison." Dilbert says, "You mean, you built a prison with the taxes you've already collected?" Dogbert replies, "I think of it as 'infrastructure.'"
Share September 10, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert aims a video camera at Ratbert. Dilbert asks, "What are you filming?" Dogbert replies, "Ratbert got his own cable tv channel." Dogbert explains, "Now that cable tv has a thousand channels they're desperate for original programs." A man and a woman sit on a couch watching television. The man points the remote control at the tv and says, "Back in the six hundreds I saw a rat slapping his head to a Barry Manilow tune." The woman says, "That's worth a second look."
Share September 26, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert walk through the park. Dogbert says, "I was thinking about how much I enjoy our conversations." Dogbert continues, "They're consistently witty and intellectually stimulating." Dogbert continues, "Then I realized that all of the witty and intellectually stimulating stuff comes from me." Dogbert continues, "Naturally I started wondering what was the point of even having you along." Dogbert continues, "Then I thought about lightning and how it always hits the tallest object." Dogbert continues, "So there IS a slight statistical advantage to having you nearby." A bolt of lightning strikes Dilbert and knocks him off his feet. Dilbert lies on the ground and says, "You aren't going to be witty now, are you?" Dogbert replies, "How can you say that? I'm shocked!"
Share October 06, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert sits at a desk in front a window thinking, "I've shouted my way into a job and a corner office. Now I need an empire." Dogbert says as he types, "I'll start a task force around some hot buzzwords. Later I'll convert the people into my own division." Dilbert says to Wally, "Hey, there's a 'Palmtop Personal Multimedia' task force being formed!" Wally replies, "That one's gonna fill up quick."
Share October 24, 1993's comic on:
A security guard says, "Have a nice night, Dilbert." The guard continues, "You can rest easy knowing I'll be guarding the building all night." The security guard continues, "To a criminal, this place must look like a big ol' shopping mall." The guard continues, "The cubicles are like little stores, each with it's own selection of quality merchandise." The guard continues, "If you knew where to look, you could get picture frames, postage stamps, clocks, and even footwear." Dilbert replies, "Oddly enough, you and the janitor are the only ones here at night, and yet my snack drawer keeps getting emptied." The security guard looks guilty and says, "It's totally inexplicable. Well, good night." The janitor asks the guard, "Shall we head over to 'Chez Dilbert'?" The security guard replies, "Later . . . There's a sale at 'Wally's Shoe World.'"
Share November 23, 1993's comic on:
Share December 12, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert holds a pointer and says, "Today you will learn how to deal with people who have personality defects." The caption says, "Case 1: Todd laughs nervously at every one of his own comments." Todd says, "Don't hold it against me! Hee hee!" The caption says, "Remedy: Todd must be relocated to a distant planet." A space shuttle leaves a planet. On the planet's surface, Todd says, "It sure is lonely! Hee hee! The caption says, "Case 2: Allen stares at you like a zombie for long periods before responding to questions." The caption says, "Remedy: Allen must be paired with Virginia (Case 3) who fills all quiet spots with inane chatter." Dogbert pushes Virgina toward Allen. The caption says, "Case 4: Matt speaks slowly about amazingly boring topics." Matt says, "I . . . ate . . . a . . . pickle . . ." The caption says, "Remedy: Matt's head can be outfitted with a reading stand." A man reads a book that rests on Matt's head. Matt says, "I . . . like . . . pickles . . ." The caption says, "Case 5: An engineer. Remedy: Very quietly seal him in his own cubicle." Dogbert builds a brick wall in the door of Dilbert's cubicle.
Share December 31, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert sits behind a counter with a sign that says "End Hunger." Dogbert asks a passerby, "Would you like to sign this petition to end world hunger at no cost to you?" The man says, "World hunger? Why does it say 'I demand elimination of the government and the establishment of a Dogbert monarchy?'" Dogbert replies, "It's standard boilerplate. The lawyers insisted." The man says as he signs the petition, "Man, those guys are in a world of their own."
Share January 07, 1994's comic on:
The Boss: "Tim will be leaving the company to pursue other opportunities." "Note the absence of key phrases such as 'we regret' or 'years of dedicated service.' And notice that his new opportunity is not called 'exciting'." Dilbert: "I think you're reading a little too much into that announcement." The Boss: "No, I'm reading the footnote."
Share March 31, 1994's comic on:
Zimbu: Your big mistake, evolution wise, was inventing computers that are easier to use if you have a tail. Its an ironic twist in the darwinian saga, You've guaranteed the extinction of your own species. Dilbert: Stop working while In talking to you Zimbu!! Zimbu: I can hear the evolutionary clock...tick tick...tick...tick...