Still Reap Comic Strips - Page 8
299 Results for Still Reap
View 71 - 80 results for still reap comic strips. Discover the best "Still Reap" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share May 05, 1996's comic on:
The Boss tells Dilbert, "I need to move you one cubicle down." Dilbert asks, "Why?" The Boss replies, "That way my people will still be in a square pattern." The Boss explains, "You're in a random pattern now. The symmetry is bad." Dilbert says, "You want me to waste two days of work to move . . ." Dilbert continues, "I'll have no phone and no network connection for a week . . ." Dilbert continues, "I'll have to order new business cards and update my cubicle address on dozens of records." Dilbert continues, "And you still won't have a SQUARE because there are FIVE of us." A man stands in the door of Dilbert's cubicle holding a box. He tells Dilbert, "I got downsized. Apparently somebody complained that I formed a pentagon." Dilbert replies, "That can happen."
Share June 05, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert and Wally walk down the hall together. Dilbert says, "Although we are nothing but pond scum in this company . . ." Dilbert continues as they walk into a conference room, "It's nice to know we can still find someone of lower status to torment." Dilbert and Wally sit at a table with a vendor. Dilbert says, "You call these brochures? How can I even consider buying products from a 'ven-duh' such as you?" Wally reaches for the salesperson's ear and says, "Tell me if this hurts."
Share June 09, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert walks through the house thinking, "Where's Dogbert?" Dilbert sits on the couch and turns the television on with the remote control. He thinks, "Uh-oh." On a tv commercial, Dogbert sits at a desk wearing a sorcerer's hat. Dogbert asks, "Are you gullible? Do you spend money on stupid stuff?" Dogbert continues, "Call the 'Dogbert Gullible Friends Hotline' for help. Only four dollars per minute." On tv, a woman says into a telephone, "Hello, Dogbert. I bought an exercise machine and I'm still lazy." Dogbert says, "Please hold." The woman replies, "Okay." Dogbert says, "Call now, and I'll replace your old television with a new one that looks just like it, while you sleep!" Dogbert continues, "If you don't have a touch tone phone, stay on the line . . . Until you get one."
Share August 04, 1996's comic on:
The Boss says to his secretary, "Carol, from now on I'd like you to type up all of my incoming voice mail so I can just read it." The Boss continues, "And print out all of my e-mail every day so I don't have to log onto the network." The Boss continues, "And get me a sandwich from the cafeteria. Ooh, no cash. I'll pay you back." Carol asks, "Do you want me to prechew the sandwich or can you handle that on your own?" Carol says to Wally and Dilbert, "Listen up, you overpaid engineers . . ." Carol continues, "By order of our reclusive boss, the new dress code for engineers is bumblebee costumes." Carol continues, "If you don't believe me, send him voice mail and ask for yourself. Oh, and he wants you to buy him a sandwich." The Boss asks Carol, "Still no messages this week? Is everybody out sick?" Carol replies, "I heard they have hives." Dilbert stands next to the Boss wearing a bee costume.
Share September 15, 1996's comic on:
The Boss, Catbert, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Mr. Catbert, our evil director of human resources, will describe our new cubicle plan." Catbert says, "Last year we reduced the size of cubicles in the densification project." Catbert continues, "We didn't save much money, but we did lower morale." Catbert continues, "This year we'll build on that success . . ." Catbert holds a square box and says, "With the patented 'Head Cubicle.'" Catbert lifts the Head Cubicle and says, "Hold still, Wally." Catbert says, "And the head cubicle can be recycled after you're downsized!" The cubicle covers Wally's head. Dilbert, Alice and Wally wear the cubicles on their heads. Alice says, "We really need to draw the line at some point." Dilbert adds, "While we still have our dignity."
Share October 28, 1996's comic on:
Wally sits at his desk. Catbert says, "Hey, Wally, is there anything you still like about working here?" Wally replies, "Um . . . I like making popcorn in the microwave and eating it while I pretend to work." Wally says, "Your body language tells me that something evil is going to happen to my popcorn privileges." Catbert sits on the monitor and thinks, "I love my job."
Share June 22, 1997's comic on:
Wally tells the Boss, "I have a great idea to save money." Wally enter the Boss's office and continues, "We can make the photocopier ink last longer by adding water to it." The Boss asks, "Wouldn't that make the copies too light?" Wally replies, "Ordinarily, yes. But we can compensate by setting the copier to 'darken.'" Wally says, "You'll need someone to implement this idea . . . Let's see." Wally says, "Hey, how about Dilbert? He isn't doing much work lately." Wally continues, "I'd do it myself but there's no reason to waste a creative thinker on an implementation task." Dilbert asks Wally, "Are you still mad that I got a bigger raise than you did?" Wally replies, "No, I found a creative way to deal with it."
Share June 27, 1997's comic on:
The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "From now on, we'll nurture the passion of our rebellious employees and form strategies around them." Wally says, "We don't have any rebellious employees. The last one got fired for wearing culottes on casual day." The Boss says, "It was such a good idea in my head." Wally says, "We still have some sarcastic employees. Can you work with that?"
Share July 11, 1997's comic on:
Roxanne, the cute girl, and Dogbert are sitting on the couch. Dogbert says, "As much as I like the petting, I still have to break up with you, Roxanne." Roxanne says, "Why?" Dogbert says, "Humans are kind intelligent, well-adjusted creatures, until you get to know them." Roxanne screams, "May the horned demons of Ixpah smite you like the last six!!!" Dogbert walks away and says, "This is what I'm talking about."
Share November 09, 1997's comic on:
The Boss is on stage behind a podium and speaks to the crowd. "The theme of this engineering conference is..." Dilbert, Wally, and Alice sit in the front row. The Boss continues, "Employees are our most valuable asset." He says, "And lik emost assets, you decline in value over time." He says, "I know what you're thinking: Not all assets decline in value." He says, "For example, fine art is worth more every year." The Boss points to an image of Wally and says, "But I don't think the Louvre will be asking for one of these anytime soon." The Boss introduces Catbert and says, "On your way our, Mister Catbert will give each one of you a certificate of depreciation." Wally says, "It's still better than last year's theme, "Have you earned your air today?" Catbert hands Dilbert his award.