Ten Minute Explination Comic Strips - Page 8

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View 71 - 80 results for ten minute explination comic strips. Discover the best "Ten Minute Explination" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 1995's comic on:


Tags #ranked engineers, #best to wworst, #bottom 10%, #includes you, #logically flawed, #fire, #fire body parts, #wally freaked outm, #torsos, #glands, #blood and bile, #fired hair

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Wally sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "We ranked all the engineers from best to worst." The Boss continues, "We plan to get rid of the bottom ten percent. That includes you, Wally." Wally replies, "Your plan is logically flawed." Wally continues, "If you fire the bottom ten percent, you'll STILL have a bottom 10%." Wally continues, "You'll fire and fire, but there will always be a bottom 10%, until finally . . ." Wally stands up and shouts, "When less than ten people are left you'll have to fire body parts instead of whole people!!!" Wally screams, "We'll have torsos and glands wandering around unable to use keyboards . . . Blood and bile everywhere!!!" Dilbert asks, "How'd it go?" Wally replies, "He fired my hair."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dating, #lucky, #replace you, #same scale, #relationships

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Dilbert and Liz sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "I'm so lucky to be dating you, Liz. You're at least an eight." Liz responds, "You're a ten." Dilbert and Liz sit looking at the mountains in silence. Dilbert asks, "Are we using the same scale?" Liz responds, "Ten is the number of seconds it would take to replace you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 1995's comic on:


Tags #captain dogbert, #good news, #bad news, #hotting town early, #actually hitting town, #crash warning, #corporate jet, #ceo, #dog, #animals

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The corporate jet flies over the mountains. From the cockpit, Dogbert says, "This is Captain Dogbert with some good news and some bad news." Dogbert continues, "The good news is that we'll be hitting town ten minutes ahead of schedule . . ." Dogbert continues, "The bad news is we'll be hitting town."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 1995's comic on:


Tags #write bug free software, #ten dollar bonus, #find and fox, #right behavior, #new minivan, #afternoon

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our goal is to write bug-free software. I'll pay a ten-dollar bonus for every bug you find and fix." Dilbert, Wally and Alice throw their arms up in excitement. Dilbert yells, "Yahoo!" Alice yells, "We're rich!" Wally yells, "Yes!!! Yes!!! Yes!!!" The Boss says, "I hope this drives the right behavior." Wally says, "I'm gonna write me a new minivan this afternoon!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 1995's comic on:


Tags #bug fixed, #code, #ratbert, #rat dance, #bugs to fix, #web browser, #authored browser

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Dilbert sits at his computer and says to Ratbert, "The company pays me ten dollars for every bug I fix in my code, Ratbert." Dilbert pushes his keyboard toward Ratbert and says, "I want you to do your little rat dance on my keyboard so I'll have lots of bugs to fix." Ratbert asks as he dances on the keyboard, "How am I doing?" Dilbert looks at the screen and says, "Not so good. You just authored a web browser."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 1995's comic on:


Tags #bent over, #chairs, #key boards, #lower back pain, #management kick ass, #new policy, #on floor, #only explination, #uncomfortable

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Dilbert watches as Wally sits in his chair and bends over to reach his keyboard on the floor. Wally says, "This new policy of keeping our keyboards on the floor is ridiculous!" Dilbert says, "The only possible explanation is to make us all stooped over so it's easier for management to kick our behinds! Ha ha ha!" Wally laughs. As the Boss peeks into Wally's cubicle, Dilbert looks shocked and says, "Wait a minute . . . That IS the only explanation." Wally says, "Cover me; I'm going to the printer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 1995's comic on:


Tags #secretary, #epiphany, #lowest pais, #job title, #seniorassoicate, #clerical, #mistaken

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Dilbert stands behind a woman who is sitting at a desk. She says, "Wait-a-minute . . . I'm starting to realize something." The woman continues, "My job title is senior associate, yet I spend my time doing clerical work . . . And unless I'm mistaken, I'm the lowest paid employee." Dilbert asks, "Is this a bad time?" The woman ignores him and screams, "Aaagh!! I'm a secretary!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 1995's comic on:


Tags #additional funindg, #porject, #meeting, #spectacular failure, #any advice, #breath mints, #business

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Dogbert sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "On the advice of my dog, I'm asking for an additional ten million dollars for my project." Dilbert continues, "That will make a more spectacular failure, thus guaranteeing a promotion for me." The Boss replies, "As your boss, I'd get recognition too . . . Okay." Wally asks Dogbert, "Wow! Do you have any advice for me?!" Dogbert replies, "Breath mints."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 1996's comic on:


Tags #manager ted, #planned better, #pushed down stairs, #soul left body, #evil entity, #performance reviews

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The Boss pokes his head into Ted's office and asks, "How do you like being a manager, Ted?" Ted replies, "Yesterday my staff pushed me down ten flights of stairs. My soul left my body and now I'm a lifeless evil entity." The Boss says, "Just in time to do performance reviews!" Ted responds, "I couldn't have planned it better."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 1996's comic on:


Tags #camping girl, #entire morning, #woe is carl, #escape tunnel

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Carl peers into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "It's time for a visit from 'Camping Carl.'" Dilbert sits at his desk and thinks, "There goes my entire morning." Carl says, "I'd like to begin with a monologue entitled 'Woe is Carl.'" Inside the cubicle, Carl continues, "I'm working every minute!" Dilbert's head comes out of a trap door in the floor outside his cubicle. Dilbert thinks, "They all laughed when I built the escape tunnel."