Took Desk Comic Strips - Page 8
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1000 Results for Took Desk
View 71 - 80 results for took desk comic strips. Discover the best "Took Desk" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday June 08,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #dawn, #bob, #dinosaurs, #cult, #trucks, #questioning
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dawn and Bob the Dinosaurs asks, "Uh . . . Dilbert, could we get your advice?" Bob says, "We just joined Dogbert's new cult." Dawn says, "And he ordered us to kill each other for questioning him." Dilbert says, "Hmm . . . Maybe you could just shove each other in front of trucks."
Sunday June 10,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #suggestion, #boss, #boost, #productivity, #limited, #trial, #died
Transcript
Dilbert stands across from the Boss's desk. The Boss tells Dilbert, "This is a very interesting employee suggestion." Dilbert replies, "Thank you, sir." The Boss says, "If I read this correctly . . ." The Boss continues, "You observed that everybody is smarter than his boss . . ." Dilbert says, "Exactly . . . So we all just switch jobs with our bosses and boost productivity by 200 percent!!" The Boss says, "I've decided to do a limited trial . . ." A janitor enters the room and tells Dilbert, "Something died in the stairwell. Take care of it."
Saturday June 16,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #computer, #perfect, #program, #end zone, #failure, #Sports, #metaphor
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer. Dilbert says, "One more clever move and I will have written the perfect computer program." Dilbert throws his arms over his head and yells, "Yes!" Dogbert yells, "Spike it in the end zone!" Dilbert throws his computer on the ground and breaks it. Dogbert says, "Another failure of the sports metaphor."
Sunday June 17,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #programmed, #computer, #analyze, #situation, #predict, #female, #response, #sad, #movie, #date, #receive flowers, #corner it
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a desk. Dilbert says, "I programmed my computer to analyze any situation and predict the female response." Dilbert continues, "This should clarify a few things." Dilbert continues, "I'll type in 'watch sad movie.'" Dilbert says, "Result: crying." Dilbert says, "Now I'll try 'receive flowers.' Result: crying." Dilbert says, "Let's try 'date with Dilbert.' Result: crying." Dogbert says, "Boy, the truth gets vicious when you corner it."
Monday June 25,
1990
Tags #sonic, #obliterator, #buffalo, #buffaloes, #application, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #nanosecond
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk holding a device that looks like a gun. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "This could be my most important technical achievement yet. I'll call it the 'Sonic Obliterator.' Hmm . . . Catchy." Dilbert explains, "This baby can blast a buffalo into random particles in about half a nanosecond." Dilbert continues, "Of course, it might have limited application around the house." Dogbert says, "At least the buffalos will show us some respect."
Tuesday June 26,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #sonic, #obliterator, #invention, #hair, #trigger, #office, #truck, #yard, #Dilbert
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk holding his invention. Dogbert asks, "May I play with your 'Sonic Obliterator' invention?" Dilbert answers, "Sure." Dilbert says, "Just be careful. It has a hair trigger and can blow a truck to bits." Dogbert says, "Neat!" Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "You have to show them that you trust them." Dogbert says, "I'll be down at the post office truck yard."
Monday July 09,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #secretary, #temporarily, #paid, #performing, #duties, #author, #jazz, #pianist, #thespian, #psychology, #gourmet chef
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of a man's desk and says, "Hi. You must be the new secretary." The man replies, "Well, yes and no . . ." The man explains, "Granted, I'm temporarily being paid for performing secretary-like duties. But I'm really an author, a jazz pianist and a thespian. I have a Ph.D. in Psychology." Dilbert says, "Sounds like a little crisis with the ol' self-image." The man adds, "And a gourmet chef . . ."
Tuesday July 10,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #department, #secretary, #personal, #phone, #calls, #traditional, #costume, #countries, #calling, #cultural appropriation
Transcript
The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'm putting you in charge of the department secretary." The Boss continues, "See if you can get him to cut down on the personal calls." The secretary sits at his desk wearing a sombrero and holding maracas. Dilbert says, ". . . Just be a little more discreet . . . For example, try NOT wearing the traditional costume of the countries you're calling."
Wednesday July 11,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #supervisor, #career, #path, #secetary, #years, #doctor, #expect, #hard work
Transcript
Dilbert says to a man at a desk, "As your new supervisor, I want to discuss your career path." Dilbert asks, "You're a secretary now, but what do you want to be in two years?" The man replies, "A famous actor . . . Or maybe a doctor." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . I don't think I can help you here . . ." The man replies, "Oh, right, but you'll expect me to work hard for you."
Friday July 13,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #secretary, #department, #image, #problem, #crush, #paper clip, #Dogbert
Transcript
A man asks Dilbert, "How's the new secretary for the department working out?" Dilbert replies, "I think he's having a self-image problem." The secretary sits at his desk and says, "Sure, I'm a secretary, but watch me crush this paper clip!!"