Useless Coworker Comic Strips - Page 8

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View 71 - 80 results for useless coworker comic strips. Discover the best "Useless Coworker" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cat show, #clothing, #date, #good listener, #mindless replica, #uninteresting stories

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A female coworker asks Dilbert, "Would it be okay if I asked your mindless replica for a date?" The coworker continues, "I'm full of uninteresting stories and I need a guy who's a good listener." The coworker and the Visibuddy are at dinner. The coworker says, "Now I'll describe the clothing of each person at the cat show." The Visibuddy hits himself in the head with a fork, "Thunk!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #numbing, #cubicle, #emplyess been numbs, #pain of working, #quite beautiful, #happy place

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Dilbert enters Wally's cubicle and asks, "Do you want to watch a numbing?" Wally responds, "You know I do!" Dilbert and Wally are walking. Wally asks, "Where is it?" Dilbert responds, "Cubicle 15950." Alice comes out of her cubicle and asks, "Are you going to the numbing?" Wally responds, "You know we are!" Wally, Alice, and Dilbert approach Asok. Asok asks, "What is a numbing?" Wally responds, "It's the moment that an employee's brain numbs to the pain of working here." Wally says, "It's actually quite beautiful." Dilbert adds, "No two are alike." A coworker sits at his computer. He exclaims, "I can't take this anymore!! Gaa!! Gaa!!" He pauses and then says, "Ooh." He takes another pause and then asks, "What the...?" The coworker is stiff with his arms out. Wally, Alice, Dilbert, and Asok watch from over the cubicle wall. Asok looks horrified. Dilbert says, "It's okay - he's in a happy place now."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #take call, #excuse me, #inconsiderate guts, #crushing head, #imagine

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Dilbert is in a meeting. His coworker's cell phone rings. The coworker says, "Excuse me while I take this call." Dilbert replies, "Okay." Just as the coworker is about the answer his phone, Dilbert says, "Excuse me while I hate your inconsiderate guts." The coworker turns away annoyed and says into his phone, "No, nothing important." Dilbert continues, "Excuse me while I imagine crushing your head."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #toxic tom, #new coworker, #potatoe, #too many questions

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The Boss introduces a new employee to Dilbert, "Dilbert, meet your new co- worker, Toxic Tom." The Boss continues, "He complained about his last job all through his interview. But he'll be happy here." Once The Boss is gone, Toxic Tom says to Dilbert, "He says he thinks you're stupid because you ask too many questions."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #defective coworker, #trade in, #co workers with defects, #parts hair in middle, #defects yet discovered

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Dilbert carries Peri Noid into a back tunnel way. The Garbageman says, "You can't repair a defective co-worker." The Garbageman leads Dilbert into a room filled with defective co-workers enclosed in glass capsules. The Garbageman says, "The best you can do is trade for a co-worker whose defects you haven't yet discovered." Dilbert points to a man and asks, "What's wrong with this one?" The Garbageman replies, "He parts his hair in the middle; that's just wrong."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new guy, #middles part, #forbid, #near work space, #not good people, #1970's called

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Dilbert introduces the new coworker to Carol, "Carol, this is our new guy, Harry Middlepart." Harry extends his hand. Carol responds, "I don't approve of your hairstyle. I forbid you to be near my workspace." Carol holds out the phone and yells, "The seventies called. They want their hair back!!" Harry says to Dilbert as they walk away, "She's not good people."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dismissal email foloowed, #found pen, #human resources, #layoffs, #mass email sent, #missed bid deadline, #not enough bandwidth, #business

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Carol is sitting at her desk. She picks up a pen and thinks, "Who left their pen at my desk?" Carol continues to think, "I'd better send out a companywide e-mail to find out." A coworker responds to Carol's e-mail, "I can't believe you're wasting everyone's time with this!" Alice types, "Stop using the 'reply to all' feature you morons!" Carol looks down at the pen again and thinks, "Wait.. I think this might be my pen. I'd better send a correction." Dilbert sits across from the Boss. Dilbert says, "We missed a bid deadline because our e-mail system was overloaded." The Boss thinks, "Layoffs." The Boss hands Carol a piece of paper and says, "Send this list to Human Resources." Carol exclaims, "Do I look like I'm made of time?!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #orchestra od data, #ironic spelling, #geneous mistro

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Dilbert, Wally, and a coworker are meeting. The coworker holds up a sign and says, "We named the product 'Geneousmistro' because it conducts an orchestra of data." The coworker continues, "Can you believe the domain name 'Geneousmistro' wasn't already taken?" Dilbert asks, "Is the spelling meant to be ironic?" The coworker replies, "Why do you ask?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #cell phone, #every two minutes, #flushable, #owner wonders where, #technology

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Alice is sitting in her cubicle. On the other side of the wall, a cell phone makes the noises, "Beep-beep-a-beep-beep-a-beep." Alice thinks, "Every two minutes." Alice looks into the next cubicle and and clenches her teeth at the cell phone lying there. A coworker approaches Alice and asks, "Have you seen my cell phone?" Alice responds, "Was it metallic, noisy and flushable?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #buff bufferman, #rock climbing, #blizzards, #pair of eacles, #leap off, #gran legs, #raging river, #white water, #keyboard, #hunched over

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The Boss: "Dilbert, meet your new coworker, Buff Bufferman." "Tell Dilbert what you do for fun." Buff: "I like to go rock climbing during blizzards." The boss: "Escape." Buff: "At the top, I wait for a pair of eagles to fly by. Then I leap off and grab them by the legs." "The eagles slow my descent to the raging river below." "I try to land on a floating log and surf the white water all the way home." Dilbert: "I use a key-board." Buff: "Isn't that dangerous?" Dilbert: "Sometimes I type all hunched over." "Ow! Ow! It hurts to hear it!"