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View 71 - 80 results for wasn't dangerous comic strips. Discover the best "Wasn't Dangerous" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elboninan fullfillment, #service, #thwart, #300 times, #string phones, #mud pile, #pig, #laughing, #animals

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Two Elbonians each have a tin can with string held up to their ears. One Elbonian says, "This is the Elbonian Fulfillment Service. How may I thwart you?" The Elbonians continue listening to their tin cans. One Elbonian hears, "Grunt grunt grunt grunt grunt." The Elbonian holds his tin can away from his ear and says to the pig, "Okay, it wasn't funny the first 300 times either."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honest vendor, #not nice to meet, #weird, #spank hamster, #business is over reated, #repeat business

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THE HONEST VENDOR: Dilbert and the vendor reach to shake hands. The vendor says, "It wasn't nice to meet you." Shaking hands with Dilbert, the vendor says, "You didn't buy enough; I'll probably spank my hamster for no reason." The vendor thinks to himself, "Repeat business is over-rated."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #expectations, #16 hours a aday, #make tired, #workers, #demands boss, #workers not listening

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The Boss announces, "I expect everyone to work sixteen hours a day." Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at the conference table. Dilbert says, "It seems like that would make us tired." Dilbert turns to Wally and asks, "Wouldn't that make you tired?" Wally replies, "I wasn't listening."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dangerous looking biker, #heart of gold, #theme, #used to be preppy, #psycho hill billy

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The hillbilly says to Wally, "I used to be preppy. Then I was a dangerous-looking biker with a heart of gold." The hillbilly continues, "I call my current look the 'psycho hillbilly.. What's your theme?" Wally replies, "This isn't a theme." The hillbilly replies, "Oh.. sorry. Man, I had no way of knowing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #improve morale, #want drinking enough, #coffee meetings, #never leave table

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The Boss says to Wally, "I'm having these coffee meetings to find out how I can improve morale." Wally responds, "My only problem was that I wasn't drinking enough coffee with you. So now I'm good, thanks." Wally continues, "Promise me you'll never leave this table. I can't go back to the way things were."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #compost, #coot, #landscaping, #leadership skills, #listening, #long term potential, #performance review, #rating is feral, #squirrely, #thesaurus, #words, #ratings, #new words

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Wally is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "Wally, it's time for your annual performance review." As they're walking to the conference room, The Boss says to Wally, "None of my usual words fit your situation." They enter the conference room and take seats. The Boss continues, "So I had to hit the thesaurus pretty hard." The Boss continues, "Your overall rating is 'feral.'" The Boss continues, "Your leadership skills are rated 'squirrely.'" The Boss continues, "And your teamwork is a solid 'coot.'" The Boss continues, "Your long-term potential is to die in the landscaping and become compost." After the meeting, Dilbert asks Wally, "How'd it go?" Wally responds, "I wasn't really listening."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technically dead, #wasn't afraid, #life in cubicle

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Dilbert is eating lunch with Alice and Wally. Dilbert says, "Technically, I was dead for eight minutes." Dilbert continues, "I don't know why I wasn't afraid." Dilbert sits in his cubicle and thinks, "Oh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cold, #addicted, #rx drugs, #six months, #coffeemaker

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Wally and Dilbert are at the coffee machine. Wally says, "I heard you had a cold." Dilbert responds, "It wasn't a cold." Dilbert continues, "I was addicted to prescription drugs and I grew an exoskeleton. I've been in rehab and surgery for six months." Wally responds, "Just to be clear: Can I catch any of that by touching the coffeemaker after you?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #life insurance, #exclusions, #self inflicted wounds, #re existing illness, #criminal acts, #war, #quilting bees

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Dilbert is sitting on the couch at home. Dogbert hands him a pamphlet and says, "Would you like to buy some life insurance?" Dilbert reads the pamphlet, "Exclusions: Self-inflicted wounds, pre-existing illness, criminal acts, war, dangerous sports, smoking..." Headline: Much later that day. Dilbert is still reading, "...And pistol duels resulting from quilting bees." Dogbert replies, "No one reads it, freak!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #orchestra od data, #ironic spelling, #geneous mistro

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Dilbert, Wally, and a coworker are meeting. The coworker holds up a sign and says, "We named the product 'Geneousmistro' because it conducts an orchestra of data." The coworker continues, "Can you believe the domain name 'Geneousmistro' wasn't already taken?" Dilbert asks, "Is the spelling meant to be ironic?" The coworker replies, "Why do you ask?"