$35 A Piece Comic Strips - Page 8
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Bucky approaches Dilbert, "I'm Bucky, the project manager." Handing Dilbert a piece of paper, Bucky says to him "Your assignment is painfully difficult and probably unnecessary." Bucky continues, "If you need me, I'll be complaining about you to your boss."
Dilbert and Alice are seated together at a table when the Boss walks up and hands Dilbert a piece of paper. He says to Dilbert, "I finished the project plan without your input." As Dilbert reads the paper, the Boss goes on to say, "You would have lied to me anyway, so I just skipped that step." The Boss sits at the table with Dilbert and Alice and says, "I've already assigned blame for failure, but don't worry, it's just preliminary."
Tags #complain about work load, #ounce of prevention, #pound of assignments, #working day and night, #projects, #assignments, #deliverables, #must do items, #action items, #frie drills, #dog and pony shows, #glare problem
Wally is leaned back in his chair sleeping. Wally awakens, looks at his wrist watch and thinks to himself, "It's time to complain about my workload." As Wally walks away from his desks, he thinks "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of asignments." Wally goes into the Boss' office to complain about his workload. He says to the Boss, "I'm working day and night!" Wally goes on to explain. "I've got projects, assignments, deliverables, tasks..." The Boss sits at his desk listening to Wally. Wally continues, "...must -do items, fire drills, and dog and pony shows." The Boss, having ignored everything Wally just said, hands Wally a piece of paper and says "Wally, I have an assignment for you." Wally is surprised. Back at his desk, Wally is again leaned back in his chair, faced covered with the piece of paper the Boss handed him earlier, as he thinks to himself, "I solved my glare problem."
The sadist approaches Dilbert handing him a piece of paper and says, "You're invited to my four-hour meeting." As Dilbert reads the paper, the sadist says "There's no agenda. It's just supposed to hurt. Dilbert asks, "Any donuts?" The sadist replies, "Yes, but I'll drop one on the floor and hide it with the others. Dilbert then says, "I like those odds."
At a meeting, the Boss announces: "I cancelled our dumpster service to save money." He continues: "I discovered an alternative that costs nothing." He tells everyone as he hands them a sheet of paper: "Everyone tear off a piece and put it in your pocket."
Dilbert is sitting between Wally and Ted and thinks: "I'm stressed out about work. Maybe I'd feel better if I verbally abused a co-worker." Ted raises his hand and screams to Dilbert: "You worthless piece of monkey spit!" Dilbert turns to Ted and thinks: "Dang. I was going to use that one." Ted rests his feet on the table, puts his hands on the back of his head and says: "Aah..."
The boss is sitting at his desk and Asok asks him: "I completed all my assigments. How many I be of service now?" The boss starts digging through his trash can and says: "I think I have something in here." Asok is sitting at his computer with a crumbled piece of paper in his hands, he thinks: "My other assigments were on wrinkled paper, too."
The boss, Dilbert, Alice and Wally are in a meeting. The boss is looking at a piece of paper and says to the group, "A hacker broke into our system and found out our corporate strategy." Dilbert asks, "Did he post it on the internet? I'd like to read it." Dilbert continues, "I'm also curious about my objectives for the year. Do you have the guy's e-mail address?"
CAption: "CAtbert: Evil H.R. Director" CAtbert says, "Wally, you've taken sick days for unusual reasons." Catbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "For example, one day you got sick because you "...accidently imagined what ir would be like if you were a fly." Catbert says, "And today it's your hair?" Wally says, "I lathered and rinsed but I don't remember repeating."
Dilbert hands the boss a piece of paper and says, "This is the bare minimum budget I need for my project." The boss says, "What could you do with half of this amount?" Dilbert says, "Fail." The boss says, "When can you start?" Dilbert says, "I think I just did."