$35 Worth Food Comic Strips - Page 8

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216 Results for $35 Worth Food

View 71 - 80 results for $35 worth food comic strips. Discover the best "$35 Worth Food" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #collect money, #ted, #birthday, #insult, #pinch face, #lemon, #ferret, #disgusting, #racist jokes, #embezzle, #date, #awkward, #dollar

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Tina says, "I'm collecting money for Ted's birthday." Alice says, "Pass. I can't stand that idiot." Alice says, "His face looks like a ferret eating a lemon." Alice says, "He makes my skin crawl." Alice says, "He tells racist jokes, and I think he's embezzling." Tina says, "I've been dating him for a month." Alice says, "I'd be lying if I said that wasn't worth a dollar."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email, #document, #attachment, #attitude, #cross arms, #care about time, #pay stub, #smile, #psychology

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Dilbert says, "Did you review the document I emailed?" Coworker says, "I don't read attachments." Coworker says, "Attachments say you don't care enough about my time to summarize a document." Dilbert says, "I brought my pay stub to prove that my time is worth more than yours." Coworker says, "Well-played."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #television, #shows, #options, #action movie, #cooking show, #content, #Entertainment

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Dilbert says, "Well, we can watch a cooking show and imagine what delicious food tastes like?" Dilbert says, "Or an action movie so we can imagine killing people while cracking jokes." Dilbert says, "Maybe I can reword those choices to make us feel less like psychopathic hobos." Dogbert says, "Please do."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negotiations, #meeting, #capitalism, #disagreeing, #distrust, #business

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Dilbert says, "If we lease a machine from you, how can we be sure you'll stay in business to service it?" Man says, "How can we be sure you'll have enough money to pay the lease?" Dilbert says, "You could check our financials." Man says, "I'm pretty sure your financials are as fraudulant as ours." Dilbert says, "Good point. Maybe we could ask trusted third parties to vouch for us." Dilbert says, "Do you trust any third parties?" Man says, "Not since my financial advisor put my retirement savings in a ponzi scheme and had an affair with my wife." And thus ended capitalism Dilbert says, "Well, we tried." Man says, "Maybe I could grow food in my car."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #happy, #bragging, #angry, #economy, #value

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Carol says, "I live in a rented trailer, and all of my money is in my checking account." Carol says, "Your investments are worthless and your mortgage is underwater. My net worth is higher than yours now." Carol says, "I guess promiscuity and a G.E.D. was a pretty good strategy for me after all."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #angry, #frustrated, #annoyed, #stupidity

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Overqualified temp Overqualified temp says, "I have completed all of my menial assignments." Overqualified temp says, "Do you have any more trivial tasks to crush my sense of self-worth?" The boss says, "I've always wondered how many ceiling tiles are in the men's restroom." Overqualified temp thinks, "Die! Die! Die!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #economy, #ridiculous, #fear

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Tree says, "The economy scared me so badly that I turned into a tree." Dilbert says, "What?" Tree says, "It's the same as a blind person developing better hearing." Tree says, "When you're stealing cat food from convenience stores, I'll be living large on rainwater."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #appreciation, #lunch, #employee appreciation lunch, #$35 a piece, #one isn't paying, #figured out

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The boss: Okay, the bill for the employee appreciation lunch comes out to $35 apiece. Alice: That only adds up if one of us isn't paying. The boss: The employees figured out why I appreciate taking them to lunch.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cow supervisor, #bovine overlord, #usurper, #food chain, #kind of cool, #position in food chain

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Cow supervisor A cow says, "Try not to think of me as a cow who happens to be your supervisor." The cow says, "Think of me as your bovine overlord, the usurper of your position in the food chain." Dilbert says, "I'd be lying if I said that didn't make it feel kind of cool." The cow says, "Say you'd die for me!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #power point slide, #white space, #one page, #one bullet point, #long one, #meeting, #presentation, #business

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Wally says, "As requested, I fit my presentation on one PowerPoint slide." Wally says, "I had to use all of the white space, but I think it was worth it to fit everything on one page." Wally says, "It's actually only one bullet point, but it's a long one."