Add Credibility Comic Strips - Page 8

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133 Results for Add Credibility

View 71 - 80 results for add credibility comic strips. Discover the best "Add Credibility" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2004's comic on:


Tags #resources, #project, #credibility, #contradiction, #ruining credibility

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Dilbert: "And that's why we can't put any more resources on your project." The Boss: "Sure we can." Dilbert: "Gaaaa!!! Why do you keep ruining my credibility?!!!" The Boss: "Good cop, bad cop." Dilbert: "If there is a god, please KILL ME NOW!!!" The Boss: "Gum?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2004's comic on:


Tags #make changes, #no credibility, #idiots, #phone call, #boss offcie

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Dilbert: "I told Matthew that there was no way we could make those changes." "Ring." The Boss: "Hi, Matthew!... Yes, of course we can make those changes; we're not idiots! Ha ha!!" Dilbert: "He says you have no credibility."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2003's comic on:


Tags #emailed, #breakdown, #format, #unspoken, #shining prefernces, #mpiness, #abyss

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The Boss: "I e-mailed you the expense breakdown. I need you to fix the format and send it out." Carol: "I will now read your mind to get the unspoken, ever-shifting preferences for the format." "I see nothing emptiness... the abyss..." The boss: "Add a chart."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2003's comic on:


Tags #chronic lateness, #repertoire, #classic excuses, #traffic, #loserville, #jinx

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Wally says to Dilbert, "I've decided to add chronic lateness to my repertoire." Wally continues, "I'll start with the classic excuses: car problems, traffic, and misplaced items. Then I'll branch out." Dilbert says, "You're the mayor of Loserville." Wally replies, "Don't jinx it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2002's comic on:


Tags #product launch party, #day and night, #working, #five years, #mime impression, #party, #add much

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. A coworker approaches and says, "Can you come to the product-launch party next week?" Dilbert responds, "No. I'll be working day and night for five years to build the product you think you're launching." The coworker says, "Something tells me you don't add much to a party." Dilbert responds, "You haven't seen my mime impression."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2002's comic on:


Tags #compost drawer, #secretary, #urgent, #carol, #desk, #office

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The Boss hands Carol a piece of paper and says, "Carol, this is urgent." Carol responds, "I'll add it to the compost drawer." The Boss thinks, "I hope that means the same thing as 'urgent.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2001's comic on:


Tags #more useful, #bizarre absolute, #feature

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Dilbert says to a coworker, "We should add this feature to our product to make it more useful." The coworker responds, "Are you telling me that not ONE person on Earth will use our product without that feature?!!? Dilbert says, "You changed what I said into a bizarre absolute." The coworker exclaims, "Oh, I change everything you say?!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2001's comic on:


Tags #four hundred features, #level of complexity, #easy to use

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Dilbert is talking to a worker. Holding a list, Dilbert says, "Your user requirements include four hundred features." Dilbert continues, "Do you realize that no human would be able to use a product with that level of complexity?" The worker says, "Good point. I'd better add 'easy to use' to the list."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2000's comic on:


Tags #doing it wrong, #response time, #sub second, #two seconds, #always right, #never wrong, #screaming

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Noriko says to Dilbert, "And we'll have sub-second response time. Dilbert says to Noriko, "Actually, it's already two seconds, and your change will add two more." Noriko exclaims to Dilbert, "Why do you always have to be right?!" Noriko says to Dilbert, "Just once can't you admit I'm right?" Dilbert says, "Okay, I admit that two plus two equals less than one." Noriko says, "I don't mean now, jerk. I mean in general." Dilbert says, "Okay. In general I admit that the rules of physics are optional." Noriko exclaims, "You're doing it wrong!!" Dilbert says, "You're right. My fault again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2000's comic on:


Tags #replaced computers, #training class, #ignored requests, #sit unused, #slow way, #computer manual, #no time, #class, #coat, #invest, #plan future

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Girl: So they replaced our computers and never trained us. I told them we needed a training class but they ignored my requests. So our computers sit there unused while we do our work the slow way. Dilbert: why don't you real the computer manual? Girl: I don't have time for that! Dilbert: But you have time for a class? It doesn't add up. Girl: Im cold. Dilbert: You should try wearing a coat. they're terrific.