Add Much Comic Strips - Page 8
592 Results for Add Much
View 71 - 80 results for add much comic strips. Discover the best "Add Much" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share August 14, 2016's comic on:
Dilbert: I don't know how you are stress-free when we have so much work to do. Wally: It's all about understanding percentages. No matter how hard you work, you will never finish even two percent of what needs to be done. The financial rewards of doing two percent of your work are identical to doing none. It's also a good idea to volunteer for several projects so everyone thinks you're working on the other ones. Your problem is that you're doing actual work for no good reason. Dilbert: My problem is that I'm doing your work plus my work! Wally: It's only two percent more work, you whiner.
Share August 05, 2016's comic on:
Boss: How's the drone defense shield design coming along? Dilbert: Super. The only risk is that it will kill every bird in the sky on day one. Boss: Don't birds have feet? They can just walk. Dilbert: I'll add that to the slide deck.
Share July 27, 2016's comic on:
Share July 20, 2016's comic on:
Dilbert: It took me a hours to figure out how to fit everything you wanted into one slide. Boss: That's great. Now add in some stuff about the budget, our risks, and all of our competition. And keep it all on one slide. Dilbert: Have you ever listened to the noise coming from your mouth?
Share July 10, 2016's comic on:
Dilbert: I have too much work, and it's stressing me out. Boss: I've been reading about this sort of situation. Try writing don all the things that make you feel grateful. Dilbert: That would be more work! Boss: For your anger issues, try keeping a journal of all the times you lose your temper. Dilbert: That would be more work! Has anyone ever taken your advice? Boss: Do you know the guy in Marketing with the eye patch? Dilbert: He followed your advice? Boss: Half of it.
Share June 06, 2016's comic on:
Boss: I've noticed you don't work as much as your co-workers. That's an illusion caused by the combination of my efficiency and my modesty. Boss: So... you're getting your work done? Wally: Stop poisoning our culture with your distrust.
Share June 03, 2016's comic on:
Boss: I can't decide if I want to vote for the liar with the budget plan that doesn't add up or... the other liar with a budget plan that doesn't add up. Dogbert: Have you tried using your ignorance to figure out which one is lying the least? Boss: Ooh, that could work.
Share June 01, 2016's comic on:
Tina: I saw your political opinion on Facebook and now I think you're an awful person. Wally: What did you think about me before? Tina: I didn't think about you before. Wally: Sounds like I got promoted.
Share May 25, 2016's comic on:
Boss: Do you have any friends with technical skills who you can recommend to work here? Wally: I don't have any friends, but if I did, why would I be so mean to them? Boss: You get a $1,000 bonus for referring a friend. Wally: How much for a gullible acquaintance?
Share May 01, 2016's comic on:
Boss: We won a contract to write software for voting machines. Dilbert: Who do you want to be president? Boss: Why do you ask? Dilbert: Because I want you to be happy. Boss: You're implying that you plan to fudge the system. Dilbert: I'm not implying anything like that. Obviously, it will be easy to fudge the data, and we are far happier when you're in a good mood. But I would never commit a crime just because it is good for ma and totally undetectable. Boss: Okay, good. Dilbert: So who do you want to win and by how much?