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wally: the reason i'm here is to help you look at the big picture. dilbert: i'll need a fact-check on that. i think you stayed over from the last meeting to finish your donut. wally eating a donut: it seems you beat me to the big picture.
dilbert: wow. my apple stock just went up 1.5%. dogbert: i sold all of my bitcoin to acquire greenland. dilbert: i didn't know it was for sale. dogbert: it wasn't, but luckily a mercenary army was.
in board room. boss: industry trends just turned our way by total luck. we have to act fast! i need to implement some kind of change so it looks as if i caused the increase in profits that will happen anyway. does anyone have any ideas? dilbert: no, because we're already perfectly situated to take advantage of the trend. boss upset: that doesn't help me! i can't take credit for our future profits unless i do something i can say made a difference. dilbert: maybe you could implement some sort of bogus company culture training program. one week later. dogbert presenting on a stage: it's important to realize you're all idiots.
wally: asok has been socially isolating too well. we need to ease him back into society with out shocking his system. dilbert: how about a reverse elbow bump? can you do that? asok in something similar to a yellow space suit: (yelling) murderer!
boss: ted says you are making all the wrong technology decisions on your project. dilbert: why do you believe him? boss: because he's the last person i talked to. dilbert: but now you're talking to me. boss: stop trying to game the system.
dilbert: the elbonian virus has reached pandemic proportions. elbonian: just because a virus doesn't kill people with beards and tall, fuzzy hats, that doesn't mean it was made in elbonia. dilbert: was it made in elbonia? elbonian: yes, but i think my point still stands.
dilbert: there's a new virus that kills everyone who doesn't have a beard and a tall, fuzzy hat. wally: what country would release a virus like that? elbonian man: i'm hearing bad things about luxembourg.
tina: every time i hear you disagreeing with the experts, i lose a little respect for you. dilbert: are you saying you once had respect for me? tina crying and yelling: stop being happy about my criticisms! dilbert: why can't i enjoy the attention?
co-worker making a presentation with graph. wally: is it a coincidence that the only part of your presentation i understand is also clearly wrong? co-worker: well, you caught me. i'm actually a fraud. i offer my resignation, effective immediately. goodbye. wally to dilbert: this is the first time i ever won a meeting. i have to say, it feels good.