Blind Dating Comic Strips - Page 8
185 Results for Blind Dating
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Woman: How many Twitter followers do you have? Dilbert: None. Woman: The world has judged you. Dilbert: It's as if I don't exist! Dogbert: For a ghost, you do a good job of blocking the TV.
Woman: I used to compare all men to my ex-boyfriend. Now I compare all men to the entertainment standard of my smartphone. Dilbert: I only scored a two on the smartphone scale, but I was a solid five compared to someone named "lying Larry."
Waiter: Would you mind filling out this customer survey so we know how we're doing? Dilbert: I don't have time to fill out surveys about everything I do. But you're making me feel guilty about not doing it. Oh no! You turned a good customer experience into something ugly. It's getting all awkward and I'm looking like a big jerk in front my date. Now I can never again eat here because I'm afraid of what you'll do to my food. You've ruined my favorite restaurant, as well as my chance of romance with this woman. Waiter: ... favorite restaurant... Woman: What are you doing later?
Dilbert says, "It might look as if I'm in a dead-end job, but I'm developing an app in my spare time." Woman says, "Here's a lottery ticket. I just doubled your odds of success." Woman says, "I bought two for myself so I don't need to make an app."
Woman says, "I love your tie-dyed overalls. That's a bold look." Dilbert says, "Actually, my job is cleaning crime scenes. I didn't have time to change." Dilbert says, "The singles scene is all about how you look."
Tina says, "I'm collecting money for Ted's birthday." Alice says, "Pass. I can't stand that idiot." Alice says, "His face looks like a ferret eating a lemon." Alice says, "He makes my skin crawl." Alice says, "He tells racist jokes, and I think he's embezzling." Tina says, "I've been dating him for a month." Alice says, "I'd be lying if I said that wasn't worth a dollar."
Tina says, "I can almost reach the paper jam, but a poltergeist is trying to drag me to the afterworld." Tina says, "Maybe I can blind him with the toner cartridge. Ha ha! Take that! And that!" Tina says, "Gaaa!!! I can't feel my arms!" Dilbert says, "I only have one."
Tina says, "I've been asked to chronicle your rise to management for the company newsletter." Tina says, "So far, I have the story of how your father was a barrel-shaped moron who married a blind woman." Tina says, "But it could have been the other way around. I'm mostly guessing." The boss says, "Lucky guess."
Dilbert says, "Hi. My name is?" Woman says, "Whoa! Whoa! Not in person!" Woman says, "I only meet men through online dating sites. That way I can filter out the losers." Dilbert says, "Too crazy too fast." Woman says, "I know. I'm working on that."
Woman says, "You're not my type. Why am I attracted to you? How did you do this, you monster!" Dilbert says, "In troubling economic times, my financial stability appeals to your survival instincts. It's basic evolution." Woman says, "Gaaa!!! That made me bored and aroused at the same time!" Dilbert says, "Science!"