Boss's Desk Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Boss's Desk

View 71 - 80 results for boss's desk comic strips. Discover the best "Boss's Desk" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coworker, request, people, project, generic advice, sitting at desk, tail wagging, hate, angry, replace, inspire

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Generic Manager Man says, "We need more people on the project." Dogbert says, "Figure it out. Work smarter not harder. Make a plan. Move some things around. Adjust priorities. Just get it done. Give me a status report." Man says, "That did nothing but make me hate you." Dogbert says, "I can replace you with someone who will pretend to be inspired."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, stuck, ductwork, device, pressure, push, shoot, foom, fly into the air, rocket, airplane, hang onto wing, koi pond

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Our device will create enough pressure to gently push our boss's carcass out of the ductwork." FOOM! Captain says, "This is Captain Sullenberger. Don't worry about the wing; I see a koi pond down there."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags e-mail, urgent, sitting, desk, computer, flames, eclipse, cell phone, witless protection program, hoax, duped, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "The urgent e-mail you forwarded to the entire company is a hoax." Dilbert says, "People don't really burst into flames if they use their cell phones during an eclipse." Dilbert says, "And more bad news: The witless protection program isn't a real thing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags plastic, using, borrowing, germaphobe, stapler

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman says, "Please order a new stapler for me," Carol says, "Did your old one break?" Woman says, "Only in spirit." Woman says, "Every person who came into my cubivle picked it up and fiddled with it," Woman says, "At first I would wipe off the cooties and try to forget." Woman says, "In time my stapler became imbued with sorrow and desperation of every dead-ender that fondled it." Woman says, "I covered it with a plastic bowl and taped it to the desk so no fumes can escape." Wally says, "If you're wondering why your chair is warm, it's because I borrowed it for a meeting." Woman says, "What's the biggest bowl you can order?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags desk, toys, decorations, removing, defending, stifling

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Alice, remove the toys from your cubicle. It sends the wrong message." Alice says ,"You mean the message that says this company is a creative environment that values the individual?" The Boss says, "Exactly. We're going for more of an egg carton vibe."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sitting, criticism, ridicule, stupidity, ignoring, distracted, work, desk, forgetting

View Transcript

Transcript

the Boss says, "Why didn't you get my input on the vendor selection?" Dilbert says, "I tried, but?" Dilbert says, "You're so easily distracted that for all practical purposes you're nothing but furniture with coffee breath." The Boss says, "Where were we?" Dilbert says, "You were praising me for my good attitude."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new employee, introduction, greeting, Advice, scared, regretting, ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Welcome to your first day on the job." The boss says, "Always lock your desk at night because many of your coworkers are crooks." The boss says, "And the ones that have eyes like this got hired before we did drug testing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags orders, demands, work, ridiculous, confused

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Asok, rummage through the piles on my desk and find yourself something to do." The boss says, "Afterward, chastise yourself for not doing it the way I would have." Asok says, "Even if you would have done it wrong?" The boss, "Especially then. No one likes a show-off."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags idea squirrel, steals your ideas, treats you like a nut, tackle him, boss office, squirrel, great ideas

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "Anyway, that's what I think should be done." Dilbert says, "IDEA SQUIRREL!" Asok says, "WHAT? WHAT?" Dilbert says, "The idea squirrel steals your ideas and treats you like a nut for saying they were yours!" Asok says, "What do I do now?" Dilbert says, "Your only hope is to tackle him before he gets to our boss's office." Asok says, "GAAA!!!" The Idea Squirrel says, "Grrr..." Someone says, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" The Boss says, "Why is the squirrel that always has great ideas fighting with that nut?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hired archaeologist, desk clutter, copier reapirman, used tools, not fast, found in clutter, skull of men

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol, I hired famed archaeologist Dogbert to find the budget report in the clutter of your desk. Dogbert: This appears to be a copier repairman skull, possibly a ricoh or kyocera. I think he used tools. Carol: Not fast enough."