Change Topic Comic Strips - Page 8
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289 Results for Change Topic
View 71 - 80 results for change topic comic strips. Discover the best "Change Topic" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday June 01,
2014
Tags #choosing, #electronic mail, #successful habits, #eight things, #inspirational links, #emails, #change subject, #huge success
Transcript
Boss: Did you see my email about the eight things that successful people do? Dilbert: Yes. I did all eight things and now I'm a huge success. Boss: No you're not. Dilbert: I'm not? How's that possible? I did all of the things that successful people do. This only makes sense if the inspirational links you send me every day are a complete waste of time! So which one is it? Am I a huge success or do you email me worthless things? Boss: Maybe we should just change the subject. Dilbert: Is that what successful people do?
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Wednesday May 14,
2014
Tags #ability to focus, #painful, #rewired brain, #thinking, #change topic
Transcript
Wally: The distractions of the digital age have rewired my brain and ruined my ability to focus. Now I find it painful to dwell on any topic for longer than five seconds. Boss: Let's talk about this. Wally: No-o-o! Change the topic!
Wednesday April 23,
2014
Tags #conversation, #deception, #insincere compliments, #make likable, #didn't spill, #no change
Transcript
Dilbert: I read that using people's names and giving insincere compliments will make me likeable. Good job pouring that coffee, Wally. You didn't spill a drop. Wally: I don't feel any different. Dilbert: Maybe the problem is on your end.
Tuesday March 18,
2014
Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #idiots, #agree, #talking to idiots
Transcript
Alice: I was just talking to some idiots. They agree with you on every topic. Boss: What is your point? Alice: That's exactly what they would say!
Tuesday December 24,
2013
Tags #electronic mail, #thinking, #lack of creativity, #choke yourself, #creating ideas
Transcript
Boss: I traced all of our problems back to your lack of creativity. You should be creating ideas that change the course of civilization, but instead, you sit there like a lump. Dilbert: I'm sending you a link that describes fun ways to choke yourself.
Tuesday October 29,
2013
Tags #big business, #discussion, #clear expectations, #revising them, #faulty, #inspiring
Transcript
Boss: The key to great leadership is setting clear expectations and periodically revising them as conditions change. Dilbert: If you plan to revise expectations, that tells me you know them to be faulty now. Boss: Maybe. Wally: Stop inspiring me so much.
Saturday September 28,
2013
Tags #inventions, #mad scientists, #marketing dept, #mice, #one evil genius, #pathways, #rewire, #ontogenetic technology
Transcript
Boss: We replaced our entire marketing department with one evil genius. Evil Genius: My optogenic* technology can re-wire the neural pathways of our customers and change their preferences. You like gray. Asok: I like to be gay. *Already works on mice.
Sunday September 15,
2013
Tags #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #product changes, #change orders, #new features, #online change order system, #old forms, #change order, #managemet, #better plan, #business
Transcript
Boss; Don't make any product changes without change orders. When users ask for new features, direct them to the online change order system. Dilbert: That system only has the old forms. Boss: Tell someone to put the new ones on there. Wally: That would require a change order. Dilbert: Maybe we could tell users our sense of hope was killed by something called management. The we could sort of slump over like we're waiting for death's cold embrace. Boss: I'll get back to you if I think of a better plan.
Wednesday May 15,
2013
Tags #how-to, #best selliners, #leadership, #sociopathic tendencies, #personality disorders, #read books, #coffee, #metting, #office
Transcript
Dilbert: As you requested, I researched all of the best-selling books on the topic of leadership. Apparently, leadership is the product of sociopathic tendencies plus luck. All other personality traits are inactive ingredients. Wally: Did you actually read all of those books? Dilbert: I only needed to know they were all different.
Monday April 22,
2013
Tags #competition (psychology), #inventions, #decoy
Transcript
Dilbert: My invention will change the world and get me promoted three levels above you. Boss: Haa-chaaa! Sorry. I'm usually more subtle. Dilbert: No worries. This was a decoy.