Coffee Safety Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

384 Results for Coffee Safety

View 71 - 80 results for coffee safety comic strips. Discover the best "Coffee Safety" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2014's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #slacker, #entire career, #listen to podcasts, #drink coffe, #surf internet, #multi slacking

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I've been a slacker my entire career, but now I want more out of life. My plan is to listen to podcasts while I drink coffee and search the Internet for fun. Dilbert: Multi-slacking? Wally: Wish me luck.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2014's comic on:


Tags #customer survey, #flying car, #idiots, #new software, #people who buy, #survey, #cafe, #coffee cup

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I have the results of our customer survey. The new software feature they want most is "Flying car" Boss: Did you survey any people who aren't idiots? Dilbert: No, I only surveyed people who buy from us.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2014's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #deception, #new business strategy, #laptop, #coffee shop, #public access, #wifi, #hackers, #strategy document, #sell secrets, #competitors, #business strategy, #break in

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Wally, I want you to create a new business strategy for the company. Then use your laptop in a coffee shop that has public access to wi-fi. Hackers will get into your computer in minutes and steal your strategy document. With any luck, the hackers will sell those secrets to our competitors. Obviously, we would never use any strategy you created, so our competitors will be misled. Wally: So... you want me to do a bad job on an assignment and then go drink coffee? Boss: Can you handle that? Wally: I like my odds. Dilbert: Why do you want a copy of our business strategy? Wally: It'll save a step.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 2014's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #deception, #insincere compliments, #make likable, #didn't spill, #no change

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I read that using people's names and giving insincere compliments will make me likeable. Good job pouring that coffee, Wally. You didn't spill a drop. Wally: I don't feel any different. Dilbert: Maybe the problem is on your end.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2014's comic on:


Tags #stress, #experiment, #flattened organization, #best play, #beat each other, #coffee, #mugs, #smooth transition, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our experiment with flattened organization failed. I'm your boss again. Dilbert: I think our best pay here is to beat each other to death with our coffee mugs. Boss: No one said the transition would be smooth. Dilbert: Make the first one count.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2014's comic on:


Tags #frustration, #work ethic, #drink lots of coffee, #disrespect authority, #reading my goals, #before signing, #accomplish stuff, #feels good

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: For some reason, your written goals for last year were "Drink lots of coffee" and "Disrespect authority." Wally: Maybe next year your goal should be something about reading my goals before you sign them. Accomplishing stuff feels good. You should try it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2014's comic on:


Tags #costumes, #deception, #downtrodden employee, #awesome person in disguise, #spider eggs, #bosses coffee, #survive, #learned, #knowledge is over rated

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Hello, downtrodden employee. I am one of you, and not an awesome person in disguise. Carol: I put spider eggs in my boss's coffee in the hope that some survive and burrow out of his body. Catbert: What have you learned so far? Boss: I learned that knowledge is overrated.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2014's comic on:


Tags #cowardice, #terrorists, #international terrorist, #cancel order, #big hit earnings, #decimate value, #stock options, #transfer, #poor safety record

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I discovered that the customer for our fleet sale of commercial drones is an international terrorist. Now we have to cancel the order, take a big hit to earnings, and decimate the value of your stock options in the company. CEO: Or... I could transfer you to a department that has a poor safety record and hope for the best.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2013's comic on:


Tags #engineer, #google, #evolved, #pure energy, #apathy, #in cop, #coffee, #desk, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Behold my greatness! I was na engineer at google before I evolved to pure energy! Behold my path that will suck the energy out of you like a monkey on an orange. Good bot, Right in the cup.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2013's comic on:


Tags #discussion, #meetings, #drink coffee, #decisons, #wise

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Let's drink coffee together while I say wise things about business. Wally: Nothing would make us happier. Dilbert: Whataya got? Boss: The only reason to have meetings is to make decisions. Wally: That sounded very wise. Dilbert: Totally. Boss: I know. I"m kind of proud of that one. Wally: So what happens when you get in a meeting and realize you don't have all of the information you need to make a decision? Boss: This works better if you two don't talk.