Couldn't Hear Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

375 Results for Couldn't Hear

View 71 - 80 results for couldn't hear comic strips. Discover the best "Couldn't Hear" comics from Dilbert.com.

Be Creative With Funding

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Be Creative With Funding  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget, #creativity, #funding, #money, #progress, #trick

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I couldn't do any work this week because you forgot to ask for funding for my project. Boss: Stop making excuses. Be creative. Ted: Why do you want to know my project charge code? Dilbert: Just curious.

Keeping The Hacker Code

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Keeping The Hacker Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cia, #spy, #hacking, #technology, #lying, #deception, #surveillance, #cameras

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I hear you were a programmer for the CIA. Did you keep a copy of their hacker code that lets you spy through any digital agency? Erik: Would you believe "no?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #cognition, #distraction, #Entertainment, #mindless, #cell phone, #internet, #social media

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I wanted to be productive this week but the big tech companies didn't let me. Boss: That's ridiculous. They can't stop people from doing work. Dilbert: Actually, they can. Their business models depend on interrupting users with ads, and apps, and mindless entertainment. Until recently, humans could resist these distractions. But now the tech companies are using science to make their apps addictive. They learned how to hijack our brains. What started as simple entertainment evolved into military-grade mind control. Did you hear any of that? Boss: Any of what?

Asok Is In The Jargon Matrix

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Is In The Jargon Matrix - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jargon, #language, #breakdown, #nonsense

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Come quickly. I think Asok entered the jargon matrix. Asok: At the end of the day, I want some actionable insights that will improve our cross-platform integration. Carol: Can he hear us? Dilbert: Yes, but our words are just noise to him now. Asok: Silo.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #listening, #small talk

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's work? Dilbert: Well, since you asked... it's like being trapped in a garbage compactor and no one can hear me scream. All my hopes and dreams have died, along with my immune system and my dignity. The only thing keeping me alive is that food tastes good. I tried to escape into my imagination, but I learned I don't have one. My life has no meaning. Each second is a slow-motion ordeal. Why do I get the feeling you weren't listening to any of that? Boss:My day was good too.

Judging The Robot

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Judging The Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #robot, #relationships, #free will, #personality, #insult, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I hear you're dating our office robot. Alice: Stop judging me. Dilbert: I'm not judging you. Alice: Good. Dilbert: I'm judging the robot. Alice: Ouch.

Craving Vacation

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Craving Vacation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vacation, #conversation, #work, #workload, #annoy, #annoyance

View Transcript

Transcript

Tine: I hear you have some vacation days coming. Planning anything big? Dilbert: I plan to catch up on all the work I couldn't get done here because people keep interrupting me. Tina: That's a sad vacation. Dilbert: Then why am I craving it right now?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deadline, #reminder, #communication, #logic, #catch-22

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Did you finish the wireframe I asked you to do last week? Man: I didn't hear from you, so I assumed you didn't need it. Dilbert: Lat week I asked you to do it and you said you would. Man: Right, but then I didn't hear from you again until now. Dilbert: There wasn't any reason to contact you because you said you would do it! Man: How was I supposed to know that? I assumed your silence meant you changed your mind. Dilbert; Can you finish it by next week? Man: Sure, if you don't pester me about it every minute.

Honest Opinion But Polite

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Honest Opinion But Polite - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #political correctness, #politically correct, #company policy, #honesty

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our new politeness policy forbids me from giving you an honest opinion of your idea. So, instead, I will talk about an unrelated topic and you can draw your own conclusions. So... did you hear about the manure fire that burned down a pig farm?

Tina Won't Stop Talking

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Won't Stop Talking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #company policy, #politeness, #etiquette, #time, #talking

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our new politeness policy is having unintended consequences. I just spent four hours listening to Tina talk about hear health problems because the company says it is rude to just walk away. Wally: How did you escape? Dilbert: She had a health problem. I got lucky.