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View 71 - 80 results for dating for a year comic strips. Discover the best "Dating For A Year" comics from Dilbert.com.

Business Plan History

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Business Plan History - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business plan, futile, futility, goal, guest artist, logic, plan, john glynn

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Boss: Before we make our business plan for the coming year, let's see how well we stayed on plan last year. We ended up doing nothing that was in our plan, just like every year. Dilbert: Why do't' we skip it this year? Boss: It would be irrational to have no plan.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, fitbit, hackers, hacking, information, privacy, spying, surveillance, technology, relationships

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Hackers Convention. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. Woman: I know. I just hacked your phone, your credit card, and your fitness band. No need for conversation. I know everything about you, including your current physiological state. Dilbert: I feel violated. Woman: No, you don't. Your vital signs are elevated. That means you're falling in love with me. Dilbert: Ha! I just hacked your fitness band and I see you have... no interest in me whatsoever. It was too late to reject her first.

Yoga For Posture

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Yoga For Posture - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags yoga, posture, dating, attraction, Women, relationships

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Dilbert: I don't know what to do about my bad posture. Dogbert: Try yoga. Dilbert: Ooh, good idea. That will also improve my odds of meeting an attractive yoga-loving woman. Man: That was my plan too, but the full-stack guys gut here early and scared away the yoga women.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, complaining, problems, salutation, sincerity, insincere, questioning, business

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Dilbert: Thanks for meeting me on short notice. How are you? Coworker: Well, actually, someone stole my identity and ruined my credit score. I couldn't refinance my loan and lost my house. So I ate myself into poor health. I stopped shaving for a month and ended up on the terrorist watchlist. My boss hates me and is trying to make me quit by giving me bad assignments. My car broke down and I haven't been hugged in a year. Dilbert: Okay, let's get started. Coworker: That's all the time I had.

How Amazing The Weekend Was

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How Amazing The Weekend Was - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags relationships, friendship, small talk, love, dating, frustration, obliviousness, conversation

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Boss: Do you want to hear how amazing my weekend was? Alice: No. Would you like to hear about the extended tragedy that is my social life? Boss: No. I went to the mountains. Alice: I fell in love with a dying polygamist.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags manager, inspiration, entrepreneur, risk, irony, catch-22, creativity, creative, motivation

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Boss: I want you to think like entrepreneurs. Dilbert: Should we take huge risks? Boss: No, the stockholders would hate that. Alice: Should we act as though we have no boss? Boss: NO. That would be chaos. Dilbert: Will we become billionaires if we succeed? Boss: Raises are capped at 3% this year. I'm just saying you should be more creative. Dilbert: and then we should act? Boss: No, that's when the problems happen.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, unemployment, replacement, obsolete, app, job, jobs, dating, logic, business, relationships

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Woman: ...and that's what I do for a living. What do you do? Dilbert: I'm building an app that will make your entire industry obsolete. I'm almost done. It looks pretty good. Woman: You're destroying my life! Dilbert: No, I'm only making the app. The app will be destroying your life. Woman: This got awkward, but I'm attracted to smart men, so... would you like to go out this weekend? Dilbert: I don't think that's a good idea. I can't get past your dead-end career.

Dilbert's External Brain Stimulator

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Dilbert's External Brain Stimulator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags first impressions, personality, fake, honesty, negativity, negative, criticism, dating, attraction, relationships, psychology

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Dilbert: I invented an external brain stimulator to regulate my moods. Woman: That means your personality is artificial. How can I be attracted to a fake person? Dilbert: Are you saying your baseline personality is an unpleasant drunk? Woman: What?

Tell Everyone You Are Writing A Novel

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 Tell Everyone You Are Writing A Novel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags writer, reputation, writing, novel, peer pressure, motivation, frustration, writers block

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Dilbert: I'm telling everyone I'm writing a novel. That way I can leverage the invisible hand of social influence to motivate me for the next year. Alice: Have you written anything yet? Dilbert: Stop badgering me!!!

Manager Of The Year Award

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Manager Of The Year Award - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags attendance, manager, management, laissez faire, cause and effect, award, accolade

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Catbert: Employees voted you "Manager of the Year." As usual, this honor is going to the manager with the worst attendance. We're hoping it's more of a correlation than a causation thing.