Death Comic Strips - Page 8
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234 Results for Death
View 71 - 80 results for death comic strips. Discover the best "Death" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday February 02,
2013
Tags death & dying, internet & world wide web, extreme sports, basejump, space station, machine learning, inetrnational
Transcript
Computer: Based on your internet history, you might be dumb enough to enjoy extreme sports. Click here to buy a ticket to base jump from the International Space Station. Boss: I think the internet is trying to kill me. Dilbert: We call it "machine learning."
Wednesday January 16,
2013
Tags fear, change is good, don't fear change, sickness and death, alarming symptoms
Transcript
Boss: Do not fear change because change is good. Dilbert: Actually, studies show that any big changes in a person's life vastly increase the odds of sickness and death. Wally: Are you trying to kill us? Dilbert: I can't feel my arm!
Wednesday December 26,
2012
Tags anger, meetings, more assertive, wishing death, dial back, shouting, miserable
Transcript
Boss: Asok, I need to teach you to be more assertive in meetings. Asok: You're a miserable human being and I hope you die in a long, painful way! Boss: Dial it back a little. Asok: I hope you die quickly?
Wednesday October 24,
2012
Tags death & dying, death certificate, staple on head, no return messages
Transcript
Alice: You haven't returned any of my messages, so I took the liberty of making a death certificate for you. I'll just staple it to the back of your head so everyone can see it. Are we good here?
Tuesday July 24,
2012
Tags death & dying, funerals, ashes, cremation, scattered, outer space, elbonian general, intercontinental missile, burden on living
Transcript
Dilbert: When I die, I want my ashes scattered in outer space. Dogbert: Cool! I'll bribe an Elbonian general to strap you to their intercontinental missile when we test it next week. Dilbert: It's better if the dying and the ash scattering are separate events. Dogbert: Don't be a burden on the living.
Monday May 14,
2012
Tags anger, discrimination, Women, containment unit, steel vault, Men, co workers, job, condesending, freak out, death, business, medical
Transcript
CEO: Settle down, honey. I didn't ask for your opinion. I'm telling you what we're going to do. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Lower the containment unit! She's going to blow. CEO: When will it be safe? Dilbert: Right after you die.
Friday January 27,
2012
Tags benefits of personhood, chemical nutrients, death & dying, inventions, petri dish, robot, scientific equipment, skin cells, sneezes, science
Transcript
Wally: Before I die, I plan to put some of my skin cells in a petri dish with chemical nutrients and store it inside a robot. By law, I will still be alive as long as any part of my body is functioning. My robot will enjoy the full benefits of personhood. My robot and I will live forever! Dilbert: Until it sneezes you out.
Tuesday November 29,
2011
Tags anxiety, death & dying, could go wrong, did go worng, closer to death, creepy
Transcript
Russell: This past week, everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Dilbert: Look on the bright side: you're seven days closer to death. Man: Hey! That's true! Dilbert: It's creepy when that works.
Sunday September 11,
2011
Tags employees, unemployed, job performance, fire someone, cubicle, fired, wake up call, greatness, business
Transcript
Boss: Dilbert, your job performance is terrific. Dilbert: GAAA!!! That's code for "I'm going to fire someone else and make you do two jobs." Boss: Yes, but it's still better to be you than the guy I'm going to fire. Dilbert: We don't know that! This might be the wake-up call that spurs him on to greatness while I work myself to death in this cubicle. Boss: There's no way to please some people. Ted, you're fired. Ted: YES!
Saturday July 09,
2011
Tags lying, optimism, projections, realistic, optimistic, near death, hallucination, luci dream
Transcript
Boss: Are your projections realistic or optimistic? Dilbert: They're halfway between a lucid dream and a near-death hallucination. Boss: I'll call them "most likely."


