Didn't Ask Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

966 Results for Didn't Ask

View 71 - 80 results for didn't ask comic strips. Discover the best "Didn't Ask" comics from Dilbert.com.

Asok In A Coma

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok In A Coma - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #coffee, #office, #office workers, #coma, #dopamine

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert running: ask appears to be in some kind of coma. what should we do? the boss: we see this a lot. his job is so boring that it caused his dopamine to crash. the boss: show him some funny car videos and give him a coffee i.v. dilbert: part of me doesn't want that to work.

Dilbert Characters

Chemtrails

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Chemtrails - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #chemtrails, #deadline

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: why didn't you get your report in on time? wally: do you believe chemtrails are real? the boss: of course i do. wally: the chemtrails slowed me down. the boss: okay, that sounds right.

Dilbert And Brainwashing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert And Brainwashing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #avoidance, #employees, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why is your employee engagement so low? Dilbert: Because I'm relatively immune to brainwashing. Boss: Okay, I didn't think you knew.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #boss, #business, #change, #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #money, #salary, #company

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you a raise because you didn't accomplish anything this year. Dilbert: Are you insane? I completely redesigned our line of products!!! Boss: That was mostly last year. Dilbert: You didn't give me a raise last year because I wasn't finished until January of this year. Now you aren't giving me a raise this year because I did most of the work last year. Give me one reason I shouldn't quit right now! Boss: Because every other company is just as bad. And you don't like change. Dilbert: I said one reason!

Very Smart Phd

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Very Smart Phd - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #education, #intelligence, #office workers, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Hi. I'm very smart, but I don't know how to do anything. Dilbert: Where did you get your PH.D.? Man: I didn't say I have a PH.D. Dilbert: You kinda did.

Why Didn't You Do It Sooner

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Why Didn't You Do It Sooner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #managers & supervisors, #motivation, #office workers, #problem

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I solved our server reliability problem. Boss: Why didn't you do it sooner? Dilbert: If you see my motivation anywhere, tell it I miss it.

Did Not Know About The Server

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Did Not Know About The Server - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #excuses, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: It's been six months now and you still haven't fixed our server issue. Dilbert: I didn't know we had a server issue. Boss: That's no excuse. Dilbert: Actually, it's kind of a good excuse. Boss: Now you're making excuses for your excuses!

Ai Keeps Owning The Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ai Keeps Owning The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #debates, #irritation, #office workers, #robot, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I keep getting into debates with the A.I. you built, and it refuses to admit I'm right. It keeps sending me links to articles on the wrong topic and claiming it "owned me". Dilbert: Please don't ask me to take sides. Boss: I need you to back me on this.

Ai With Bad Analogies

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ai With Bad Analogies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineering, #questions, #robot, #technology, #humans, #rational

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My breakthrough in A.I. came when I stopped trying to duplicate human rational thought. Dogbert: You can't copy what doesn't exist. Dilbert: Right. So instead I coded it to spout analogies to sound human. Asok: Should I ask my boss for a raise? Robot: Trees don't ask for raises, so why should you?

Boss Has A Vision For The Company

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Has A Vision For The Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #office workers, #sarcasm, #listen

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: And that's my vision for the company. Dilbert: All you did was list the projects we are already working on while making it sound like astrology. Boss: In my defense, I didn't think any of you were listening.