Dinner Set Up Comic Strips - Page 8

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View 71 - 80 results for dinner set up comic strips. Discover the best "Dinner Set Up" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cafe, #change subject, #date, #dinner date, #freinds, #hobbies, #internet, #obscure articles, #technology

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woman: do you have any hobbies?" Dilbert: I like to read obscure articles on the internet and image having friends who are interested in the same things. Woman: But you do have friends, right? Dilbert: Is it too late to change the subject?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #highest raise, #exceed expectations, #thought possible, #goals higher, #incompetent, #setting goals, #maximum achievement, #choices

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"The Boss: I can't give you the highest raise because you didn't exceed expectations." Dilbert: "If you thought it was possible for me to exceed my expectations, you would have set the goals higher." "So there are only two possibilities here." "Either you are incompetent at setting goals..." "Or I attained the maximum possible achievement and I deserve the maximum raise." "Which is it?" The Boss: "Can I hear those two choices again?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #set up meeting, #review board, #new technologies, #decide, #answer question

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The boss: "Carol, set up a meeting with the technology review board to decide how we'll decide on new technologies." Carol: "Do you also need a meeting to decide how you will put together a meeting to decide how to decide things?" "Maybe I should get some people together to help you answer that question." The Boss: "Maybe."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #automated sytem, #arbitrary deadline, #work smarter, #not harder, #sense of urgency, #get work done

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Dilbert: "I can't develop an automated testing system by the arbitrary deadline you set." The Boss: "Try working smarter, not harder, with a sense of urgency, and a bias for action." Dilbert: "Or maybe you could do something differently." The Boss: "I'm not the one who can't get his work done."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dinner set up, #key, #everyone invited, #expect carol, #key employees, #mints

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The Boss: "Carol, set up a dinner for all key employees." Carol: "Which ones are key?" "That would be everyone except um...you." "I curse your dinner!" "I'll bring you some mints...if they have extras."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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I can monitor the company's key metrics from my executive dashboard. "Uh-oh. I need to do a better job of falsifying my data." "Allow me to set the stage for your next assignment by reminding you that stockholders have never done anything for you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Wally, too many people are asking me for things. How can I set priorities?" "Wait until everyone is yelling at you and then help whoever makes the scariest threat on any given day." "Is that what you do?" "No, I tell people to go ask you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stretch goals, #goals for year, #set higher

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Asok: I wrote out my goals for the coming year. I set them higher than I can achieve because our boss said it's good to have stretch goals. Alice: Well, more for us."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing wasn't cooperating, #come running, #probelms, #hyprocrsy, #set up

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Dilbert: You said to tell you if marketing wasn't cooperating. The Boss: You can't come running to me with every little problem. Go fix it. Dilbert: Then why did you tell me to tell you?! The boss: It's just something I say.