Elbonian Ceo Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

757 Results for Elbonian Ceo

View 71 - 80 results for elbonian ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Elbonian Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally's Sleep Vr

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Sleep Vr - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2017's comic on:

Tags #vr, #virtual reality, #sleeping, #nap, #deception, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I wrote a VR program that creates the illusion you are asleep. Watch me demonstrate. ZZZZZ. CEO: How long should I watch?

Wally Presents His Invention To The Ceo

Thank you for voting.
Wally Presents His Invention To The Ceo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2017's comic on:

Tags #invention, #heat, #charger, #phone, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I invented a phone charger that uses its excess heat to keep your coffee warm. CEO: No one needs that. Wally: Hold that thought. CEO: Oh, heck. Wally: It sells itself.

Management Fast Track

Thank you for voting.
Management Fast Track - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2017's comic on:

Tags #talent, #management, #potential, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert, our CEO asked me to put you on the management fast track. Dilbert: Why does he hate me so much? Boss: He didn't say, but I have a lot of guesses if you want to hear them.

Dilbert Has Management Potential

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Has Management Potential - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2017's comic on:

Tags #manager, #honesty, #insult, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our CEO thinks you have management potential. Dilbert: What did I do to deserve that kind of insult??! Boss: He called you a heartless monster. CEO: He speaks truth to power. I like it.

Resources Complain

Thank you for voting.
Resources Complain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2017's comic on:

Tags #leadership, #language, #jargon, #manager

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I want to lodge a complaint against Dilbert. He called me a "resource." I find that offensive. Boss: Then he offended one of the resources. CEO: You're right. He does sound like a natural leader.

View more books now

Looks Good But Won't Work

Thank you for voting.
Looks Good But Won't Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2017's comic on:

Tags #ideas, #impracticality, #managers, #leadership, #threat

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The one they call Dilbert suggested we do something that looks good but won't work. CEO: Is this the first trace of management potential you've seen from him? Boss: You think it's a fluke? CEO: Let's keep an eye on it.

Estimating Software Completion

Thank you for voting.
Estimating Software Completion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 2017's comic on:

Tags #estimate, #deadline, #questioning, #delay, #prediction

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: When will the next version of the software be done? Dilbert: That's like asking me to estimate how long it takes a salamander to evolve into a horse. Boss: So... what should I tell our CEO? Dilbert: Try the salamander analogy. It worked on you.

Elbonians Jumping Off Roof

Thank you for voting.
Elbonians Jumping Off Roof - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 2017's comic on:

Tags #jump, #height, #suicide, #struggle, #failure

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We have a problem at our Elbonian manufacturing plant. Employees are leaping from the roof to end their lives. Boss: It's only two stories high. Dilbert: That's the problem. It takes three jumps to do it right.

Picking The Spaceship Staff

Thank you for voting.
Picking The Spaceship Staff - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2016's comic on:

Tags #space, #space flight, #rocket, #death, #sacrifice, #astronaut, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: How's the Mars spaceship project going? Boss: Good. I picked our worst employees to be on the first test flight, just in case it explodes. CEO: Good thinking. Boss: We have two ways to win and no way to lose.

Forgot To Go To Pre Meeting Corrected

Thank you for voting.
Forgot To Go To Pre Meeting Corrected - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 2016's comic on:

Tags #deception, #lying, #deadline, #boss, #executive

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Is the software finished as your boss promised me it would be? Dilbert: I forgot to go to the pre-meeting for this meeting, so I'll guess the answer is.. yes? CEO: Okay, keep up the good work! Dilbert: Thanks goodness he doesn't know what the truth even looks like.