Email Monitoring System Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

461 Results for Email Monitoring System

View 71 - 80 results for email monitoring system comic strips. Discover the best "Email Monitoring System" comics from Dilbert.com.

A System For Transferring Mistakes

Thank you for voting.
A System For Transferring Mistakes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #blame, #mistake, #boss, #review, #human resources, #revenge, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Make sure we get all of the cost savings that our vendor promised with our new software. Dilbert: Those savings are not real. The vendor lied to you because you know nothing about technology. Boss: If only I had some way to turn my mistake into his mistake. Catbert: It's called a performance review.

Drone Defense System

Thank you for voting.
Drone Defense System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 2016's comic on:


Tags #drone, #help, #rescue, #inept, #failure, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The government asked us to design a system to stop drone attacks on the homeland. The future of civilization is in our hands. Wally: I'm gonna miss civilization.

Fit Bit Monitoring

Thank you for voting.
Fit Bit Monitoring - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #mothers, #mom, #surveillance, #spying, #nosy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilmom: This is your mom. I've been monitoring your Fitbit and... whatever you're doing, cut it out. Dilbert: It was disturbing on many levels. Dogbert: "Mom Drone" behind you.

Wally's Useless Nonsense

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Useless Nonsense - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2016's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: There's a rumor that you use a chatbot to reply to email with useless nonsense. Wally: You can't prove that because I've always answered my email with useless nonsense. Catbert: That was disturbingly well-played. Wally: It's all about creating the base case.

Wally's Email Makes No Sense

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Email Makes No Sense - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2016's comic on:


Tags #bot, #deception, #laziness, #work ethic, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally's emails make no sense. Dilbert: He replaced himself with a chatbot. He designed the chatbot to be useless so you'd think it was him. Boss: And he thought this would fool me? Dilbert: He's been gone for four months.

Wally Is Employee Of The Year

Thank you for voting.
Wally Is Employee Of The Year - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2016's comic on:


Tags #cheating, #referral, #employment, #reward, #award, #bonus, #proof, #guest artist, #jake tapper

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our Employee Of The Year is Wally, for referring so many new people to work in engineering. We believe he accomplished this feat by manipulating the referral system, but we can't prove it. So just to hedge our bet, we misspelled his name on the certificate. Wally: I had it coming.

Boss Figures Out A System

Thank you for voting.
Boss Figures Out A System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #management, #managing, #problems, #work, #workload, #solution, #problem-solving

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm bored. Boss: Here's some more work. Alice: I'm overwhelmed with work. Boss: Here's some more work. Boss: Managing was hard until I figured out a system.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2016's comic on:


Tags #election, #voting, #technology, #fraud, #cheating, #vote, #Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We won a contract to write software for voting machines. Dilbert: Who do you want to be president? Boss: Why do you ask? Dilbert: Because I want you to be happy. Boss: You're implying that you plan to fudge the system. Dilbert: I'm not implying anything like that. Obviously, it will be easy to fudge the data, and we are far happier when you're in a good mood. But I would never commit a crime just because it is good for ma and totally undetectable. Boss: Okay, good. Dilbert: So who do you want to win and by how much?

Don't Read Long Emails

Thank you for voting.
Don't Read Long Emails - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2016's comic on:


Tags #email, #tldr, #communication, #assumption, #honesty

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: You didn't answer my email. Dilbert: I don't read long email messages. Long emails are a sign of a disorganized mind. I try to avoid contact with that sort of person. Man: And yet, here I am. Dilbert: I didn't say it works every time.

Ted Never Got The File

Thank you for voting.
Ted Never Got The File - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2016's comic on:


Tags #blame, #communication, #responsibility, #technology, #guest artist, #brenna thummler

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I never got the file you said you would send. Dilbert: I don't know what file type you want. Ted: Why didn't you ask? Dilbert: Why didn't you check your email and see that I did? Ted: Why didn't you text me to say you emailed me? Dilbert: Why don't you drive into a ravine?