Ever Comic Strips - Page 8

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350 Results for Ever

View 71 - 80 results for ever comic strips. Discover the best "Ever" comics from Dilbert.com.

Longest Date Ever

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Longest Date Ever - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, relationships, Women, Men, attraction, record, conversation

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Dilbert: My date lasted 53 minutes. Dogbert: That's your longest yet. Was she trapped in any way, such as under rubble? Dilbert: Nope! Dogbert: Wow. How'd you do it? Dilbert: I didn't talk for the first 49 minutes.

Miracle Of Consciousness

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Miracle Of Consciousness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags jaded, blase, unimpressed, dating, relationships

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Woman: Do you ever marvel at the miracle of consciousness? Dilbert: No. People are just fish plus time. Woman: Does anything amaze you? Dilbert: This is my longest date ever! 49 minutes!

Your Idea Has Been Tried

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Your Idea Has Been Tried - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags failure, trying, trial and error, criticism

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Boss: Ideas like yours have been tried in the past and always failed! Dilbert: Have you ever been on an airplane? Those didn't work on the first few tries either. And then we have the entire history of science. Boss: Stop. You're embarrassing yourself.

Asok's Legacy

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Asok's Legacy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags judge, judging, overshare, sharing, socks, guest artist, donna oatney, legal

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CEO: Do you ever worry about your legacy? Asok: I worry about someone finding out my socks are so worn out that all I have left are the ankle parts. CEO: Well, that's enough about you.

Asok Remembers Being An Uber Driver

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Asok Remembers Being An Uber Driver - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags vomit, sick, taxi, driver, carpet, smell, nausea, throwing up, medical

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Dilbert: When you were an Uber driver, did any passengers ever get sick in your car? Asok: They all did. The first few had motion sickness, but the last hundred lost it when they smelled the carpet.

Dilbert Is Picked As Company Mascot`

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Dilbert Is Picked As Company Mascot` - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags posture, mascot, success, hunchback, work ethic, reward

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CEO: Management has selected Dilbert to be our new company mascot. His bad posture speaks volumes about his hard work and long hours. Dilbert: Ow! CEO: Did you ever dream you would be so successful? Dilbert: This is exactly how I dreamed it.

Forgetting Meetings

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Forgetting Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags appointment, absent mindedness, forgetting, therapy, irony, psychology, psychiatry

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Dilbert: Do you ever have anxiety because you feel like you're supposed to be in a meeting that you forgot? Alice: You should see a doctor about that. Dilbert: I already made... uh-oh. Alice: Was the appointment for today? Dilbert: An hour ago.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags change, fear, power, executives, decision, threat, hypocrisy

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CEO: You must learn to embrace change. Dilbert: Can we change anything we want to change? CEO: No. You don't get to say what the changes are. I do that. Alice: Will that situation ever change? CEO: No. Alice: Why not? You said change is good. CEO: Change is good. For other people. So embrace it or I'll fire you. Employees: We love change!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags management, strategy, productivity, humane, inhumane, treatment, surveillance, watching, privacy, work, office workers

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Boss: We are going to start monitoring employee productivity in real time. Any questions? Dilbert: I need one clarification. Are you saying you removed the last shred of human dignity from our jobs and reduced us to nothing but a meat machine that suffers in a state of perpetual inadequacy as each person is compared to an arbitrary and ever-growing goal until there is no realistic way for the employee to find happiness through natural means? Boss: That's one way to look at it.

Human Contact Through Social Media

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Human Contact Through Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags loneliness, antisocial, people, introvert, social media, communication, isolation, technology

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Asok: Wally, does your lifestyle of being useless ever leave you feeling lonely? Wally: That's the old way of thinking, Asok. Now a person can get the benefits of human contact through social media. Asok: Do you use social media? Wally: No. I run a tight ship.