Excellent Hearing Comic Strips - Page 8
112 Results for Excellent Hearing
View 71 - 80 results for excellent hearing comic strips. Discover the best "Excellent Hearing" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share October 08, 1999's comic on:
The Boss leaves his office and thinks, "As a leader, I must listen to my customers." The Boss says to Dilbert at his computer, "What are you hearing from our customers?" Dilbert says, "Not a peep." The Boss returns to his office and thinks, "Our customers are defective."
Share July 02, 1999's comic on:
Alice is unpacking a logic board. The Boss approaches and says, "You want to see an excellent trick I taught myself?" The Boss reaches out with his finger to the logic board. He says, "If I shuffle my feet, I can make a tiny spark with my finger." The Boss is leaning in front of a door and thinks, "She's right; this thing does make an excellent doorstop."
Share July 01, 1999's comic on:
The cube farmer walks through the cubicle and thinks, "My cube farm has an excellent yield this year." The farmer looks at Wally and says, "I reckon I'll have to put this one down so he won't reproduce." The farmer says, "Sorry." Wally says, "No problem; I hear that a lot."
Share June 30, 1999's comic on:
The cube farmer stand in the doorway of Dilbert's cube with a rake. The farmer says, "My cube farm has an excellent crop this year." the farmer offers Dilbert a donut on the rake and says, "Here you go, fella. This will fatten you up." The farmer attaches a stick on a hook to Dilbert's cube wall and says, "If you ever need salt, just lick this pretzal stick." Dilbert eats the donut and says, "mmmm... ooh!"
Share March 21, 1999's comic on:
The Boss brings a Big Dumb Guy to Alice's desk. He says, "Alice, I'd like you to work with this big dumb guy." The Boss continues, "He doesn't know he's dumb. So he'll tell people you're dumb if you ever disagree." The Boss: "He's also lazy and a habitual liar." Alice shouts, "Then why do you let him work here?!" The Boss explains, "He has an excellent track record. No one knows why." In front of the Boss and Alice, the Big Dumb Guy bends over and picks up the document that Alice was working on from her desk. Big Dumb Guy shows Alice's document to the Boss. Big Dumb Guy says, "Look what I just did." The Boss responds, "Excellent work." Alice is flabbergasted. The Boss tries to console Alice, who is furious, with "Remember Alice, you're never too old to learn."
Share November 14, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert follows Carol as she walks away. Dilbert holds a piece of paper. Dilbert says, "Why should I fill out this form? It would take an hour and it doesn't even apply to me." Carol says, "I don't make the rules. I just apply them with a helpless and defeated attitude." Dilbert says, "You're doing an excellent job." Carol looks at her watch and says, "Seven more hours until quitting time."
Share November 08, 1998's comic on:
Wally sits in the Boss' office. The Boss says, "Wally, you haven't done any actual work in years, and yet we continue to pay you." Wally says, "Have I said thanks?" The Boss replies, "I'd fire you, but your performance reviews are all 'excellents." The Boss continues, "So, my plan is to make your job a living hell until you quit." Wally raises his fist and says, "You'll never win! My standards are lower than you can imagine!" The Boss says, "I'll start by moving you to a smaller cubicle." Wally crosses his arms and says, "Is that the best you got? Ha! Ha! Ha!" Wally is in a bathroom stall on the phone. He says, "Mom, guess who got an office with a door!"
Share August 26, 1998's comic on:
The boss and Dlbert sit at the Boss' desk, The Boss says, "Your performance was excellent, but there's no bonus this year." Dilbert says,"Why not?" The Boss says, "The company lost a fortune in the Elbonian currency collapse." The Boss says, "But in a way, it's your own fault for working here." Dilbert says,"Thanks. That takes the sting out."
Share July 20, 1998's comic on:
Two employees talking outside of Alice's cubicle. Alice says to the employees, "Excuse me. I couldn't avoid hearing your converstaion outside my cubicle." Alice continues, "I think I speak for a lot of cubicle dwellers when I say..." Alice yells, "SHUT UP!!" Both employees are pushed backwards by the force of Alice's yell.
Share May 04, 1998's comic on:
Alice goes to sit down at the conference table. She says, "I had a strange dream last night." Bob says, "Research has shown that nothing is less interesting than hearing about someone's dream." Alice says, "..But this was no ordinary grape. It was a seedless!" Bob covers his ears and yells, "My brain is gnawing its way out!"