Expense Report Comic Strips - Page 8

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211 Results for Expense Report

View 71 - 80 results for expense report comic strips. Discover the best "Expense Report" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trigger automatic promotion, #be that employee, #part of team, #not special

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I need to have one more direct report and it will trigger an automatic promotion for me. "Your job is to be that employee." "How's it feel to be part of the team?" "Not as special as I'd hoped."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #less prodcutive, #automatic promotion, #hiring, #work like idiot, #look like idiot, #pointy haired alice

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"Alice, I need you to be less productive." "I'll get an automatic promotion if I can justify hiring one more direct report." "If I'm going to work like an idiot, I might as well look like one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #despair, #employment, #freedom, #jobs, #office, #office workers, #suicide

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Ted: I used to be a photographer, wild and unsupervised. I tasted the sweet nectar of freedom. Carol: Fill out your time report in 15-minute increments so we always know what you're doing. Attempted self-strangulation is code 39. If you succeed, it's 40.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #suggestions, #audience, #readers, #resist perl pressure, #unfunny comic, #connect to network, #email, #note from author

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Note from the author "Approximately one gazillion people have suggested I draw a comic based on the following idea." "As you will see, this idea is not funny. But I give it to you anyway because I can't resist peer pressure." Unfunny Comic If you can't connect to the network, send a trouble report by e-mail. "Happy?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new guy, #project staus report, #random pharse, #generatormmeail, #listens, #when he's talking

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"Alice, can you show the new guy how to do a project status report?" "He doesn't read them, so we all use a random phrase generator. I'll e-mail it to you." "You said that in front of him." "He only listens when he's talking."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trends are positive, #crushing debt, #moronic management, #aging product line

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Tina writes the Annual Report All trends are positive. Footnote 5: Unless you consider our crushing debt, moronic management, and aging product line. "What font is this? It's so tiny." "Enron Beelzebub."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #our annual report, #positive spin, #poor results, #stock plummenting, #can't afford us

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"Tina, I want you to write our annual report." "How should I explain our poor results?" "Just give it a positive spin." "If you have to ask why our stock keeps plummeting, you can't afford us."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #boss, #car call, #diustarcted, #made distracted, #driving, #crashed

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Rrring! Alice : Now what? This is alice. Jo its your boss. alice: GAAA! its a car call. he's using me toenetratin himself while he's sitting in traffic Boss: How everything? Alice: I'll lose and hour of my life if I don't get him off the phone, Boss: Nice weather today. Alice: Do me a favor and look in your brief case to see if my latest report is there. The boss: Okay. The boss: and turn down your radio so Ic an hear you...and check your calendar on you pda GAA!!! CRASH! IM going to hell.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #eagles can't fly

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"Wally, the status report that you e-mailed me is blank." "That;s because eagles can't type." "What?" "The motivational poster in the break says I should be like an eagle." "The point of that poster is that your spirit should soar like an eagle while you continue to do mundane work." "Wouldn't I die if my spirit left my body to go soar?" "You're confusing your spirit with your soul." "While your spirit is soaring, your sould should remain, trapped in your body, slowly decaying while you create your status report." "Would it change anything if I got a poster that says "you want it when?!!""

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project caribou, #new chip, #prorc, #muskrat project, #project meerkat, #names of projects, #too similar

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"We need more staff for prject Cribou.' "No. You're thinking of project Caribbean." "Caribou is like project muskrat but with lower P.R.O.R.C." "P.R.O.R.C?" "Projected return on research capital." "Is muskrat the enterprise software project?" "Um... No... That would be project muskrat." "Cancel project musk ox, move the staff over to project zebra, delay panda and sdquirrel and give me a status report on probosics monkey." "We don't have any projects with those names." "How's that my fault?"