Fast Fail Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

143 Results for Fast Fail

View 71 - 80 results for fast fail comic strips. Discover the best "Fast Fail" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dont know, #fail test, #it is what it is, #security audit, #developers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The security audit accidentally locked all of the developers out of the system. The Boss: Well. It is what it is. Dilbert: How does that help? The Boss: You don't know what you don't know. Dilbert: Congratulations. You're the first human to fail the turing test. The Boss: What does that mean?Um... Dilbert: It is what it is? The Boss: Why didn't you say that in the first place?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hired archaeologist, #desk clutter, #copier reapirman, #used tools, #not fast, #found in clutter, #skull of men

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol, I hired famed archaeologist Dogbert to find the budget report in the clutter of your desk. Dogbert: This appears to be a copier repairman skull, possibly a ricoh or kyocera. I think he used tools. Carol: Not fast enough."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new guy, #tall, #giant, #awkward, #arm pits, #cubicle, #intimidating

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Don't get too friendly with the new guy. His armpits are 66 inches off the ground. Asok: He seems nice. I fail to see how the height of his armpits is relevant. Wally: You'll see. New Guy: Hey, little buddy. Let me tell you about my weekend.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sensitive material, #interoffice, #topsecret, #moron, #security department, #slap hard, #run fast

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: Your most sensitive materials should always be sent in an interoffice envelope marked 'top secret. Dilbert: Are you a moron who works in our security department, or an industrial spy who is too lazy to look through lots of envelopes? The boss: Our security guys don't slap that hard or run that fast.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flash, #java script, #website, #fast guy in tights, #movie about coffee, #code words, #remember, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Then we program the web site using a fast guy in tights and a movie about coffee. "Correct me if I'm wrong." Dilbert: "We use flash and java script." "I said 'IF'!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #funding terrorists, #indirectly, #bed kind, #rebels, #brainwashed, #compnay, #money, #iran, #power point

View Transcript

Transcript

dogcart: I heard your company is funding terrorists. Dilbert: "Very indirectly." "And they aren't the bad kind of terrorists. They're more like rebels who sometimes do terrorist things." Dogbert: "How did they brainwash you so fast?" Dilbert: "Iran supplied them with PowerPoint."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Did you get all of the department heads to sign off on our business plan?" "No, they prefer to see us fail so they look good in comparison and there's more money in the budget for them." "How can we speed up this process?" "I'm failing as fast as I can."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources<Br>"I've worked in a windowless cube for 25 years. Can I move to the vacant cube by the window?" "Sure." "GAAA!!! IT BURNS!" "Too fast."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Can you bring me up to speed before we go to the meeting? "No. You can't fit two gallons in a thimble no matter how fast you pour." "Wait a minute...Which one of us is the thimble?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Smokin' Jim "I've got a nicotine addiction, a tiny bladder, and attention deficit disorder." "So talk fast because I can't focus for more than ten seconds." "Gaa! I have to give that warning faster!!!!"