First Class Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

626 Results for First Class

View 71 - 80 results for first class comic strips. Discover the best "First Class" comics from Dilbert.com.

Topper Signs Document

Thank you for voting.
Topper Signs Document - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #one-up, #best, #competition, #deception, #trick, #signature

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper. Dilbert: I once signed my entire first name to a document. Topper: That's nothing! Watch me sign my entire full name to that document! Dilbert: Sometimes you can be predictable. Topper: That's nothing! I don't even have free will!

Mandatory Safety Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Mandatory Safety Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 2016's comic on:


Tags #safety, #catch-22, #choosing, #unsafe

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You have to go to a mandatory safety training class right now. Dilbert: Is it safe for me to miss the deadline you gave me for this assignment? Boss: No, you lose either way. Dilbert: Hmm. Maybe I could work all night from home then drive to work exhausted.

Dilbert Recommends Firing Ted

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Recommends Firing Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 2016's comic on:


Tags #money, #cost, #fired, #layoff, #suggestion

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need to cut our expenses. Dilbert: I recommend eliminating Ted's job. Ted: What??? I recommend eliminating Dilbert's job! Just because he said it first??? Boss: Let's not over-analyze it.

Trust Your First Instinct

Thank you for voting.
Trust Your First Instinct - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 2016's comic on:


Tags #bribe, #bribery, #laziness, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: People are telling me you are accepting bribes to help co-workers on projects. Wally: You think I'm helping my co-workers? Boss: Good point. That part didn't sound right. Wally: Trust your first instinct.

Tina's Soul Will Live On

Thank you for voting.
Tina's Soul Will Live On - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2016's comic on:


Tags #reincarnation, #afterlife, #faith, #soul

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I hate my job, but I'm looking forward to my afterlife. Dilbert: Are you hearing good things about decomposing? Tina: My soul will live forever. Wally: Good luck. I lost mine at my first performance review.

Electric Car Project

Thank you for voting.
Electric Car Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 2016's comic on:


Tags #manager, #labor, #time, #time management, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Welcome to the first meeting of our project to design an electric car. We've never tried to build an electric car, but how hard could it be? Dilbert: It's very hard. Boss: It doesn't feel that way. My part is mostly talk.

God Helps Those Who Help Themselves

Thank you for voting.
God Helps Those Who Help Themselves - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2016's comic on:


Tags #help, #assistance, #sayings, #adage, #divine intervention, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Can you get me that data by Friday? Wally: They say "God helps those who help themselves." Man: So... you won't help? Wally: I'm waiting for you to go first. Man: And then you'll help? Wally: No, the order is you, then God, then me.

Wally And Agile Programming

Thank you for voting.
Wally And Agile Programming - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 2016's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #avoid, #evasion, #acrobatics

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'll ask Wally to write this software. I haven't seen him since he took that agile programming class.

Wally's Lateness Excuse

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Lateness Excuse - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2016's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #excuse, #lying

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why are you two hours late for work? Wally: Your wife didn't want to bother you, so she called me and asked if I would go to your house and see if she left her curling iron plugged in. Do you believe me, or do you want to risk being the first person she calls next time. Boss: Well played.

Longest Date Ever

Thank you for voting.
Longest Date Ever - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2016's comic on:


Tags #dating, #relationships, #Women, #Men, #attraction, #record, #conversation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My date lasted 53 minutes. Dogbert: That's your longest yet. Was she trapped in any way, such as under rubble? Dilbert: Nope! Dogbert: Wow. How'd you do it? Dilbert: I didn't talk for the first 49 minutes.