Five Minute Meeting Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Five Minute Meeting

View 71 - 80 results for five minute meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Five Minute Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.

Pre Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pre Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, meeting, pre-meeting, canceled, sarcasm, business, reality

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we canceled the meeting because we couldn't find a time for the pre-meeting to prepare for the meeting. dilbert: doesn't the pre-meeting need it's own pre-meeting? boss: good point. dilbert: sarcasm and reality have become one.

Searching On A Phone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Searching On A Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, communication, phone, protocol, task, rude, technology, insult, fake

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i have something funny to show you. just give me a minute to find it on my phone. dilbert thinking: what's the protocol in this situation? should i just sit here and stare at her pawing at her phone? i can't talk because she's focused on her task. and it would be rude to walk away. would it be an insult to look at my own phone and mentally check out from this useless interaction? tina: ah! i found it! dilbert: okay, good. tina: wait, that's not the right one. dilbert: is this why people fake their own deaths?

Technical Difficulties

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Technical Difficulties - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technical, difficulties, meeting, business, conference, call, audio, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: how'd your meeting go? dilbert: we spent an hour trying to get the conference call audio to work. boss: and then? dilbert: it was a one-hour meeting.

How Long It Will Take

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How Long It Will Take  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, assignment, deadline, incompetence, meeting, co-workers, months

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: can you have it done in a week? dilbert: not if i have to work with other employees. given the galactic incompetence of my co-workers, it would probably take seven to non months. boss: i'll give you two weeks. dilbert: that's how long it will take to set up the first meeting.

Conference Call

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Conference Call - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, business, conference call, meeting, useful, don't care

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: how did your conference call go? dilbert: normal. it took us twenty minutes to get everyone connected, followed by forty minutes of garbled speech that no one understood. the meeting ended when everyone got tired of pretending something useful was happening. wally: i didn't really care.

Meeting To Decide When To Meet

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Meeting To Decide When To Meet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, meeting, schedule, thursday, berate

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i need everyone to come to the thursday meeting so we can decide when to schedule our next meeting. dilbert: why don't we just have the meeting on thursday? dilbert: see me later, so i can berate you for saying that. dilbert: do we need a meeting to schedule that?

Time Travel By Printer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Time Travel By Printer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, presentation, technolgy, molecular, scan, body, brain, time travel, 3d print, meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert giving a presentation: i invented a device that can scan your body and brain at molecular level. now you can time travel by killing yourself and leaving instructions to 3d-print you back to life in the future when the technology is able. response: where will you find anyone dumb enough to test it? dilbert: have you ever attended a meeting at this company?

Learning What Doesn't Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Learning What Doesn't Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, project, fail, failure, business

View Transcript

Transcript

wally in meeting: my project failed miserably, but i think we can agree we came out ahead. for example, we learned what does not work boss: you? wally: that's one way to look at it.

Two Places At Once

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Two Places At Once - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, meeting, time, states, impossible

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: you committed me to two different meetings at the same time in different states. it is not possible to be in two places at the same time wally: pfft! i could do it boss: even wally could do it

Juggling 17 Balls

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Juggling 17 Balls - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags comparison, criticism, employees, office workers, overwhelmed, juggle

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I have too many projects. Boss: Pfft! If a juggler can juggle five balls at once, you can handle seventeen projects. Alice: But...no juggler can juggle seventeen balls at once. Boss: Not the lazy ones.