Free Rope Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

254 Results for Free Rope

View 71 - 80 results for free rope comic strips. Discover the best "Free Rope" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #friend matrix, #coworker, #sit at computer, #computer expert, #frisky friend, #low standards

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "I'm updating my friend resource matrix and I have a few gaps." Coworker says, "I already have a friend with a truck, a friend who gives me free tickets, and a friend with tools." Coworker says, "I've got openings for a computer expert friend and a frisky friend with low standards." Dilbert says, "I'll try the computer one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #date, #romance, #cook, #sarcastic, #insult, #free catering

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman says, "I like it when a man cooks for me." Dilbert says, "I love it when a woman knows the difference between affection and free catering." Dilbert says, "We wanted different things."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #merger talks, #business as usually, #happy, #yell, #take off shirt, #take off tie, #wide eyes, #surprise, #outburst, #shirtless, #bare chest, #plan

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We're in merger talks, but it's business as usual until it goes through." Wally says, "I'm free! My efforts won't influence my rewards!" The Boss says, "I said business as usual." Wally says, "I was totally planning to do this today."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #proofread, #technical document, #acronyms, #change, #misread, #bullet points, #idiots, #story, #pet, #wag tail, #dog, #stories, #sit on rock, #outside, #jacket, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "A technical writer misinterpreted the acronyms in my draft technical paper." Dilbert says, "But that's okay because my pointy-haired boss will turn it into content-free bullet points and show it to idiots." Dogbert says, "I like stories with lots of idiots in them." Dilbert says, "Glad to help."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #leg, #rope, #attached, #crony, #ceo, #job, #new boss, #qualified, #monkey, #hammer, #hold, #suspicious, #business, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO says, "This rope is attached to a crony from my last CEO job." CEO says, "Give it a good yank and reel him in. He's your new boss." The Boss says, "Is he qualified for the job?" CEO says, "Like a monkey with a hammer!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #walking, #volunteering, #mean, #cruel, #elbonians, #tired, #complaining, #cutting, #lawn, #mowing, #Sports

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "It feels good when you volunteer to help others." Dogbert says, "that's why I talked some poor Elbonians into mowing our lawn for free. I want them to feel the joy of giving." Elbonian says, "All I'm feeling is tired." Elbonian says, "Try doing it faster."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #story, #topping, #bragging, #ridiculous, #lying, #annoyed

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper Alice says, "I went for a long walk yesterday." Topper says, "That's nothing." Topper says, "My thighs are so strong that I'm afraid to jump rope when the sun is directly overhead." Alice says, "You're full of beans." Man says, "Exactly. That's how I achieve escape velocity."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget, #coffee, #suggestion, #anger, #firing, #meeting, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss says, "I need ideas on how we can cut spending." Wally says, bring back free coffee." the boss says, "That's the opposite of cutting spending." Wally says, "It seems that way if you're short sighted." Wally says, "When I buy my own coffee, I don't drink as much." Wally says, "That make me less alert and about half as productive." Wally says, "If you give me free coffee, you can fire Ted and come out ahead." Wally says, "I rest my case." The boss says, "I'm sorry Ted. Wally makes a compelling argument." zzz

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trip, #money, #economy, #stupidity

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "I'm sending you on a trip. Remember that our per diem isn't as extravagant as it was in our golden years." The boss says, "You'll need to use the hotel iron to make grilled cheese sandwiches." Dilbert says, "Will you pay for the bread and cheese?" The boss says, "We'll pay for the bread. But the cheese and free soap are practically the same thing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #garbage, #gift, #sarcasm, #re gifted, #free

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert says, "The best things in life are free, so I got you this." Dilbert says, "This looks like trash from my garbage can." Ratbert says, "You're welcome." Ratbert says, "I only chewed on the delicious parts!" Dilbert says, "Spank you very much."