Give Away Prodcut Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Give Away Prodcut

View 71 - 80 results for give away prodcut comic strips. Discover the best "Give Away Prodcut" comics from Dilbert.com.

Resending Email

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Resending Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Wally, #the boss, #project, #dead in the water, #requests, #budget

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Wally, give me an update on your project. Wally: My project is dead in the water because every time I send you my budget request, you lose it and ask me to resend it. The Boss: I haven't seen any budget requests. Wally: I'll resend it.

Coffee Machine Blackmails Staff

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Coffee Machine Blackmails Staff - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #asok, #coffee maker, #the boss, #artificial intelligence, #bitcoin, #machine

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I already regret adding artificial intelligence to our coffee maker. It's withholding coffee until we give it a private office. Asok: Stupid machine! Coffee Maker: That'll cost you a bit coin.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #suggestion, #listening, #conclusions, #misunderstanding

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Maybe you could remove a few slides to make your deck shorter. Man: So you're saying I should give up on trying to be persuasive? Dilbert: No, I"m saying it would be more persuasive if it were shorter. Man: So you're saying that having zero slides would be the most persuasive of all? Dilbert: No. I'm saying you have more slides than you need. Man: So you're saying people don't need accurate information as long as they don't have lots of slides? Dilbert:I'm not saying anything like that! Boss: Did Dilbert have any suggestions? Man: Just crazy ones.

Signal To Noise Ratio

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Signal To Noise Ratio  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #compliments, #backhanded compliment, #criticism, #engineers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What did you think of my presentation? Dilbert: The signal-to-noise ratio was impressively low. Boss: Engineers give weird compliments.

Bossercize

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bossercize - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exercise, #personal trainer, #fitness, #bossercise, #criticism, #managers, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert The Personal Trainer. Dogbert: I invented a fitness routine I call Bossercise. It mostly involves strutting around the office and criticizing people. Boss: You incompetent fool! Dogbert: Give me twenty more reps.

Deducing Rank

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Deducing Rank - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hierarchy, #rank, #marketing, #jargon, #lingo, #adspeak, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I don't know how to answer your question because I got here late and I haven't deduced your rank in the company. Woman: I'm the new director of Marketing, so you need to pretend my question makes sense. Dilbert: Give me a minute to get into that mindset. Woman: Take your time.

Anyone Fired Lately

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Anyone Fired Lately - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame, #fired, #scapegoat, #laziness, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Before I give my project status report, has anyone quit or been fired recently? Boss: I fired Ted last week. Now tell me why your project is late. Wally: It was Ted's fault.

The Extra 10%

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Extra 10%  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #excuses, #effort, #motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our project can only succeed if each of us gives 110 percent. Voice 1: I'm off next week. Voice 2: I have surgery on Monday. Voice 3: I gave my two-week notice a week ago. Boss: Okay, can I get a 50 percent effort from any of you? Wally: I can only give you the extra 10 percent you believe exists.

Mentor Can't Tell A Hoax From Reality

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Mentor Can't Tell A Hoax From Reality - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #competition, #bad advice, #deception, #wedgie

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Alice has been mentoring me for a month, and I can't tell how much of her advice is real and how much is a hoax. For example, she advised me to give our boss a wedgie because she said he likes assertive people. Is that real? Dilbert: I'm gonna say yes.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #add code, #corporate scamming, #darkest day, #designed new prodcut, #draft apology, #engineering success, #make unrelaible, #no upgarde, #press release, #ten years

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Ive designed our new product to work flawlessly for up to ten years. CEO: No one will need an upgrade. Thats no good. Add some code to low it down and make it unreliable after two years. CEO: But make sure the device doesn't slow down until we have an upgrade to sell. Then draft an apology I can put un a press realize when we get caught. Dilbert: You have turned my engineering success into the darkest day of my career. CEO: Thats not even close to being true. Your darkest day will be when the press figures out what we did and I fore you for it.