Grandchildren Ask Comic Strips - Page 8

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390 Results for Grandchildren Ask

View 71 - 80 results for grandchildren ask comic strips. Discover the best "Grandchildren Ask" comics from Dilbert.com.

I Would Never Ask You To Lie

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I Would Never Ask You To Lie - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2015's comic on:


Tags #sales personnel, #lying, #sales, #ethics, #business

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Boss: Stop being honest when you go on sales calls. Dilbert: You want me to lie? Boss: I would never ask you to lie. I'm asking you to nod your head and smile while our salesperson lies.

Asok Asks How Much Is Luck

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Asok Asks How Much Is Luck - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 2015's comic on:


Tags #nepotism, #luck, #success, #obliviousness, #rich people, #privilege

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Asok: May I ask some questions about your journey to success? Boss: I don't like the sound of this. Asok: I am trying to ascertain what percentage of a person's success is pure luck. For example, who hired you for your first real job? Boss: My dad. But in my defense, I interview well.

Solving Problems In Interviews

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Solving Problems In Interviews - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2015's comic on:


Tags #interview, #trick, #thinking, #problem

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Job Interview. Boss: Tell me your process for solving this sort of problem. Man: I would ignore it for a week and likely discover that it wasn't important in the first place. If it still matters after a week, I would hold fake job interviews and ask people how to solve it. Boss: Apparently, that doesn't work.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2015's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #first impression, #culture, #interview, #job interview, #deception, #revenge, #nice, #niceness, #nice people, #business

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Job Interview. Boss; When I make hiring decisions, my biggest priority is cultural fit. Man: Your buzzwords are like music to my unemployed ears. And here come some employees who can tell me about your company culture. Boss: Uh-oh. Man: Hey, guys. Can I ask some questions about the culture here? Dilbert: Working here is like a paradise. Wally: Best place ever. Dilbert: Our days are full of laughter, hugging, and camaraderie. Wally: Coffee is free! Man: Wow. Thanks. I look forward to working here. Boss: ??? Dilbert: I didn't like that guy. Wally: I'm glad we got our revenge in advance.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2015's comic on:


Tags #public speaking, #presentation, #question, #questions, #stupid, #idiot, #idiots, #criticism, #critic

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Boss: I need you to critique my presentation for the board. And don't hold back to spare my feelings. Dilbert: That probably won't be an issue. Alice: We got this. Boss: My product idea has three components. Alice: How do you know another company isn't secretly preparing to launch the same product? Boss: What kind of stupid question is that? Alice: It's the same question you asked me yesterday about my product idea. Boss: The board won't ask that. Alice: Don't be so sure. I hear they're idiots.

Not That Invested In Your Success

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Not That Invested In Your Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #communication, #excuse, #excuses

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Wally: I made no progress on your project because I was waiting to ask you some questions. Coworker: You could have emailed me. Or texted me. Or stopped by my desk. Wally: I"m not that invested in your success.

Don't Want To Set A Precedent

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Don't Want To Set A Precedent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 2015's comic on:


Tags #overwork, #work ethic, #exhaustion

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Dilbert: Do you mind if I only work sixty hours this week? I need some rest. Boss: I don't want to set a precedent that your health matters. That's a slippery slope. Dilbert: I might die from sleep deprivation. Boss: Don't ask me to validate your selfishness.

Employees Are Our Most Valuable Asset

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Employees Are Our Most Valuable Asset - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2015's comic on:


Tags #statement, #value, #motivation, #backfire, #praise

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Boss: People are our most valuable asset. Dilbert: I will remind you of that when I ask for a raise. Alice: Me, too. Boss; It blew up in my face.

List Of Known Problems

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List Of Known Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2015's comic on:


Tags #joke, #insult, #misanthrope, #misanthropy

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Alice: Did you get the link I sent you for our company directory? Boss: I didn't ask for that. I asked for a list of known problem... Oh. Not funny. Alice: Then how do you explain this?

Strategy To Get What You Deserve

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Strategy To Get What You Deserve - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 2015's comic on:


Tags #Promotion, #recognition, #strategy, #business, #competition

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Tina: I didn't get the promotion I deserve. Alice: What strategy did you use? Tina: Who uses a strategy to get what they deserve? Alice: Maybe you should ask the person who got your job. She sounds smart.