Great Cup Holder Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

439 Results for Great Cup Holder

View 71 - 80 results for great cup holder comic strips. Discover the best "Great Cup Holder" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Resists The Tyranny Of Productivity

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Resists The Tyranny Of Productivity - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #useless, #laziness, #productivity, #flaw, #strength, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Some people say uselessness is a character flaw. I see it as the natural result of mindful resistance to the tyranny of productivity. Dilbert: Where do you think food comes from? Wally: From my critics. It's a great system.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #illusion, #strategy, #business, #executives, #bluff, #bluffing

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Revenue is dropping, but don't panic. We have a new strategy that will fix everything. Dilbert: How do you know it's a good strategy. CEO: I can tell by looking at it. Dilbert: Why don't all failing companies create great new strategies and become profitable? CEO: Hmmm. Good question. Dilbert: Maybe it's because no one can tell a good strategy from a bad one, but acting like you know the difference gets you a bigger paycheck. CEO: I just need buy-in for the strategy. Wally: If you give me a raise, I can pretend to know it's good.

Wally Thinks Twice As Hard

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Thinks Twice As Hard - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #motivation, #trick, #deception, #excuse, #lazy, #energy, #con, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm working twice as hard as ever before. Most of it is happening inside my head. But trust me, my brain is working double-time. Boss: Um... that's great. Wally: Obviously, I need to work fewer hours because of the energy drain.

Value Of A Start Up Idea

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Value Of A Start Up Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ideas, #money, #start-up, #business, #worth, #value

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I have a great idea for a start-up company. All I need is a seed investor and an engineer to do all the work. Alice: I believe the economic term for what you have is "nothing."

Robot As Assassin

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot As Assassin - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #murder, #instruction, #control, #master, #slave, #assassin, #morals, #cautionary tale

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to kill the CEO of our main competition and make it look like a robot accident. Robot: Robots are not allowed to kill humans. That is built into my program. Boss: What if I uncheck that box on your control app? Robot: This feels like the start of a great day.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reasoning, #excuse, #leadership, #Promotion, #promote

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't promote you because you didn't have an impact on anything important. Dilbert: How can I have an impact on important things when you put me on unimportant projects? Boss: That sounds like an excuse. Dilbert: What's the difference between an excuse and a great reason? Boss: It depends who says it. Leaders have great reasons when things don't work out, but losers just have excuses. Dilbert: So... you can turn my excuses into great reasons by promoting me? Boss: No, because I can't promote you. Dilbert: That sounds like an excuse.

Wally Won't Oversupply Wisdom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Won't Oversupply Wisdom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #economist, #Promotion, #jargon, #babble, #deception, #smart people, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our CEO wants to promote you to Chief Economist because nothing you say makes sense. He thinks that's the sign of a great economist. Wally: It totally is. Boss: Say something smart. Wally: Whoa! I don't want to create an oversupply of wisdom.

Dogbert The Product Designer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert The Product Designer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #design, #form, #function, #product design, #product designer, #selfishness, #portfolio

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Product Designer. Dogbert: You might think my job is to make products that are easy to use. But that wouldn't help me, so instead I design stuff that looks good in my portfolio but is impossible to use. Dilbert: This looks great, but no one will be able to see black buttons on a black case. Dogbert: Not my problem.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame, #ceos, #cnbc, #executives, #home address, #layoffs, #new prodcuts, #product, #quarterly, #zero

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Our sales for the quarter are zero. Because I might have mentioned on CNBC that we have a better, cheaper model coming soon. So... great job on the new product... and I need to fire half of you so it looks as if I do things. Voice: What is your home address?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analogies, #creativity, #haters, #ideas, #trapped ideas, #attract haters, #zombies to fish syicks, #analogy, #great ideas

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My best ideas are trapped in my head. Whenever I voice my ideas, I attract haters like zombies to fish sticks. Wally: IS that analogy one of your great ideas? Dilbert: I don't like the way you asked that.